This is probably the age group that I get the most funny looks about when I mention it but hear me out. If this is the first post on TheTraumaTeacher that you are reading, stop what you are doing and rewind a few weeks to my “Support Groups for Kids?!” post before reading on.
As you know, I am a firm believer in the intense effects of trauma on this age group. Just looking at it from common sense alone, humans learn more information and skills in the first three years of life ON THEIR OWN than they seemingly do the rest of their grade school career. (DISCLAIMER: not an actual scientific statistic, but… like… it’s pretty close right? Someone smarter than me, study this!) Seemingly, a lot of what children learn in school is simply building off of what was learned in those first lucrative years. Children who already learned how to move their limbs and use their strength go on to hone them for sports. They already learned how to form sounds and words with their voices, so they hone those skills for reading and writing. They have learned emotions and family bonding, they go on to use that information to make friends and build their community. Because of the pandemic and so much being communicated online for school and work, I have caught a few glimpses on social media recently for incoming kindergarten expectations and requirements in my area. Just browsing through the digital pamphlet, you may be surprised to learn that a lot of the requirements are based largely around average and natural development. Things on the list include that a child enjoy exploration through play, be confident in learning, shows independence, respects people and property, etc. These are things that aren’t generally taught directly by a parent, but learned from observation, trial, and critical thinking. If we know and see so clearly that infants and toddlers are absorbing this massive amount of information in those first 2-3 years of life, then it is also clear to see how a traumatic event or series of events could negatively affect the child just as easily and impactfully.
So what DOES a support group for infants, toddlers, and preschool aged children look like? Well, it is definitely not a scene from Boss Baby with tiny suits and long boardroom tables. A support group catering to this age is exactly what you think it is, a playgroup but with a therapeutic twist. If you aren’t sure how to relate to this age, find a friend who works in the baby room of a daycare. Better yet, see if that friend can get you permission to visit their classroom and observe. I am going to walk you through some of my own experiences, observations, and techniques for successfully working with a Teenies-aged group.
DROP-OFF
If you have ever been around a toddler for any length of time, you likely know that transitions are not at all their strong suit. Your best bet if this is the only age group you are working with in a session is to attempt to stay in your group learning space the entire duration of the group with as few distractions as possible. If this isn’t possible for one reason or another, then try to build your schedule with as few transition periods as you can manage. If a mealtime is included during your group time, don’t try to schedule that meal with playtime before AND after the meal. For example, have parents prep and settle their child into their high chair or seat at drop off to have the meal first, then you will only have one transition from meal table to learning space. You can also try this in the opposite order, but take into consideration that hungry babies are grumpy babies and taking toys from children is never a fun experience. You can also take a moment to ask parents about when the child had their last meal/diaper change so you can have a bit more of an idea of what to expect during group time. I would highly recommend handling as much dirty work as possible before settling into the meat of your therapeutic play so you can hopefully have fewer distractions (ie: meal cleanup, child clean up, dirty diapers, potty time, etc).
EXPERT TIP: This may be obvious, but having a space designated for parents to store a child’s diaper bag and belongings can be a life saver. In the past, I have utilized specific corners, wall hooks, and tables and asked parents to place the belongings there themselves so it became an eventual routine. Make sure whatever form your space takes, it is near the bathroom/changing stations!
TOPIC DISCUSSION
Okay, for teenies, this can take a bit more creative thinking but gets relatively simple as you get used to it. I prepare for a teenie group just like I would for any other group. I start by getting a good idea of the topic we will be focusing on and pulling learning tools and activities together that will help encourage topic-related play. This means choosing toys, story-time books, and maybe even music related to the topic. If you happen to want to focus on humility for a session, you might want to equip your play space with books about helping others and draw focus to toys that require taking turns and sharing. You will also want to prepare an artillery of encouragements, compliments, and verbal warnings relating to being humble (You did a great job at being humble by letting Sally go first! You thought about her before thinking about you!, How did it make you feel when Tommy took the toy from you? His action caused you to be sad. The things we do can affect how others think and feel too.) You also want to keep in mind specific behaviors to watch for that emphasize the topic. If you are talking about respect, you may work a lot of “manner words” into conversation and make a big deal when another child uses one without being prompted. Topics at this age are taught mostly through observation and environment. Think about what topics you would want to teach a group of infants and toddlers, and then how you would create an environment centering on the concept.
DRIVE IT HOME
You may choose to do one major game or craft at this age, but usually it just ends up being a memento for the parent. Some ideas I have used in the past were greeting cards to mail for family and friends to teach Kindness, Humility, or Compassion (thank you cards could be used for gratitude), decorated age appropriate (toddler) chore charts for responsibility, and “cup races” across the floor for Perseverance. Again, most of the topic teaching is going to be done through lots of passive verbal communication during carefully tailored free play, but this is definitely something you could do.
SEND OFF
This may be the smoothest of all the age group send offs because this group is so much less structured. There isn’t a set “lesson” to interrupt and usually parents stand by and watch kids play and be adorable for a minute anyway. The tip from earlier about having a designated area for belongings will make this go even more smooth as everything they came with will be in one place ready to leave back out with them. Children at this age often light up when they first see their parent return (assuming it is not an abusive parent) and pretty easily go with them unless they are just too wrapped up in their play. As I’ve stated before, transitions are never easy at this age so a verbal reminder every five minutes leading up to a change in environment can work wonders in preparing a child for what to expect (are you ready to go home in 15/10/5 minutes? Did you have fun during our group time?) It can also help to have a wrap up routine as a visual signal to kiddos that group is almost over. At 15 minutes, you could initiate last potty time and check all diapers, at 10 minutes you can make sure all belongings are correctly packed in their area, and at 5 minutes you can start to tidy toys and books that aren’t being played with anymore.
Most importantly, you want to make each parent aware of what was worked on and how they can continue the lesson at home. Will they do it? Who knows, but you can equip them. Luckily at this age, it's mostly just vocabulary cues. Continuing to encourage manner words, talking about kind acts, saying thank you to enforce gratitude and appreciation are all great suggestions to give parents to continue lessons at home. Even if you don’t think a parent will follow through, they may surprise you and the simple act of specifically mentioning it may run through their mind when they least expect it. If you take it seriously, a parent has the chance to take it seriously too.
Hopefully this post inspired you to see the beauty and potential that an infant/toddler support group can have. It is an age group that often gets overlooked and underserved based on the thought that children are “too young to remember.” However I am of the utmost belief that this is the most affected group when considering long term effects of trauma and stress. As always, this was developed mainly through experience working with children who have experienced violence and abuse, but I do believe that with a bit of brainstorming that it could fit the needs of any demographic. If you have any questions or want further ideas and inspiration for a Teenies group, don’t hesitate to reach out in the comments and I will do my best to oblige.
Good Luck & Keep Fighting,
Jess ♥️
