Building Your Resource Network

     Welcome to the world of advocacy! You’ve submitted your resume, aced the interview process, been welcomed in by a new employer and a hardworking team of do-gooders just trying to make the world a better place, and now you’re sitting at the desk you’ve been assigned staring at a blank computer screen begging your office phone not to ring. Don’t worry, we’ve all been there. We have all been the “new kid” in the office that barely knows what is going on, asks questions that the rest of the staff are able to answer without even thinking, and felt that surge of nervous energy when duty calls. I like to think that everyone still gets those jolts once in a while. I certainly do. Just like the clients we work with, we are all human and we don’t always have all of the answers. In fact, we never will. If we were able to magically conjure new homes, immune systems, jobs, cures, families, cars, or literally anything else our clients needed and hand them over on a silver platter neatly tied up with a bow, we would be miracle workers. But that isn’t how the world works. Resources come and go every day and it is absolutely impossible to keep up with what is out there. Even ten years in, you will learn about new programs and services around your area and find that ones you’ve used for years have unfortunately gone away. It is all a part of the job. Over time, you will be able to sit in front of a client and be able to at least start to make a plan with them for how to move forward from whatever life has thrown their way. Some of the information will seemingly find you, some of it you will hear about from one place or another, and some of it you will have to do the legwork to find yourself. I am going to give you a few ideas of where and how to find information on resources in your area as well as some critical and optional resources you should always be keeping an ear out for.

    Where?    

Within Your Agency

The first place you should absolutely start looking for resources is right outside your office door! In some work environments, it may be heavily discouraged to spend too much time “chit-chatting” at someone else’s desk or in their office. Not my idea of keeping morale up, but that is none of my business. However in the world of advocacy, collaboration is key. This is not a competition and we do not get paid on commission. There is no prize for knowing more resources than the girl in the next office over and it should never feel that way. When an advocate doesn’t have a client in their office or a call coming across their phone, they should absolutely be sharing ideas, resources, and hang-ups with their co-workers. There have been so many times that I have actually sat in with another advocate while they worked with a client and took mental notes on how they handled the case and what resources they sent them to. In fact, part of your induction into an agency should be just that - job shadowing and asking questions. If you are managing a case with struggles outside of your working knowledge, don’t hesitate to walk over to another advocate’s office and run the situation by them. The majority of skills and knowledge we attain in this field is learned through monkey see, monkey do. Not only is spending time in your coworker’s office beneficial to learning resources, but it helps to vent frustrations as well without breaking confidentiality. Just don’t overstay your welcome and make sure your work is up -to-date!

Archives

As I’ve mentioned a few times before, when I started as a children’s advocate I came into a pretty much clean slate. Though there was really nothing in place program-wise, there was a lot of paperwork left behind compiled by other employees through the years who dealt with the children’s programs of old. Mind you, most of the pamphlets and workbooks dated back to the 80s and 90s, it gave me a great place to start. It will take a lot of time, but if your agency has old paperwork, pamphlets, literature, or anything else printed by third parties it is worth it to keep your laptop/tablet/phone with you while you clean to see if some of those organizations are still operating. If they are, most places are happy to speak with you about current services if you reach out by phone and you may even be able to visit their local branch to pick up more recent literature (ALWAYS HAVE LITERATURE). Cleaning out the stockroom doesn’t sound so bad now, does it….. Yeah, ok. It still is, but you get what I’m saying.

Colleagues

Let me first start off by saying I have only recently begun using this word because it sounds so grown-up and I also have only recently realized that I even HAVE colleagues now. I just pray that I am using it right. Honestly, if you haven’t figured it out by now I am terrible at being an adult and often forget that I even am one. So yeah, there's that.

After a while of referring clients and patients to different resources, you will begin to develop professional relationships with people providing the services you refer to. Before you even realize it, you will call to confirm a therapy form has successfully processed and end up chatting with Cheryl, the patient coordinator, about how excited you are that the waiting list for housing is opening back up and checking to make sure that Cheryl’s dog was feeling better since she took it to the vet last time you both talked and comparing the best natural dog foods for different issues and how nice the weather has been this week which is perfect because Cheryl received a flyer that there are scholarships available for youth softball this year but it looks like it’s going to get cold again the weekend but that’s okay because your plans were just to curl up on the couch with Netflix and a mug of hot tea anyway……… See where I’m going? When you continually work with the same people over and over, you create a bond with them. This bond leads to longer conversations which tends to lead to information about other agencies and services they work with or have heard about. If you and your colleague from the hospital are talking and you mention how hard of a time you’ve been having connecting with low-cost clinics in the area catering to kids, your colleague very well may have some insider knowledge from within the medical field of a new clinic opening up nearby or perhaps be able to connect you with a friend of theirs in pediatrics. I highly encourage you to communicate with your resources like the people that they are because we are all really just trying to create a better world. It may even get you invited to take part in local collaborative groups and efforts, which leads me to my next suggestion..

Committees and Collaborative Efforts

Typically you have to know somebody that knows somebody to even hear about these groups, much less get an invite to attend. It isn’t intended to be that way and I assure you that most groups would really prefer more people knew about their efforts but most of these committees are small and serve a targeted audience. Once you have established your presence and started relationships with your small pool of resources, you may begin to hear about committees made up of employees from other agencies working toward your same goal. GO TO THESE MEETINGS! Find out when they are. Find out where they are held. Go to Dollar tree, pick up a little $1 notebook, and march yourself into that meeting taking down names, agencies, services, and any other information you can grab. Take the pamphlets and the flyers. This, ladies and gentlemen, is networking. This has been the absolute best place thus far that I have been able to compile resources and actually meet the people providing the services. Also, make sure to take your business card so you can tell others what you are doing as well. I have met daycare organizers, special needs medical providers, child therapists, museum program coordinators, farmers, artists, yoga teachers, gardeners, and so many other wonderful and out of the box resources through these meetings. I have also been invited to attend trainings through colleagues I have met through committees that I never would have known about otherwise because they weren’t directly tied to my field. In fact, I even was invited to give a training to early educators on the subject of domestic violence and its effect on children because of these connections. Networking is going to play a massive role in rounding out your resource library to make sure you’ve covered bases you didn’t even know were going to come up. Network. Just do it. You’ll thank me later.

Good Ole Google

When it’s the eleventh hour and you’ve still not been able to find that resource your client needs so desperately, turn to the tried and true. There is a lot to be said about opening your favorite search engine and typing in exactly what you need. Really, all you need to put in is the type of resource you’re looking for and your zip code or town name for a plethora of options to come up. Then just pick up the phone and call for more info. Most agencies have all of their information online including referral forms, but it is handy to call ahead and introduce yourself to verify that they will, in fact, accept a referral from you. I’ve found every one that I have worked with has appreciated the intro call and even invited me to their agency to tell me more about their programs. If you are working with an agency that is overseen by a larger umbrella-type organization such as a coalition or network, look them up too. I have reached out to my local state’s director of child advocacy several times to learn about resources and funding available as well as been connected to other professionals as well.

    What to look for?    

Common Resources

Clinics - Food Banks - Churches - Clothing Closets - Thrift Stores - Medical Offices - Lawyers - Therapists - Daycares - Schools - Tutoring - Housing/Landlords - Job Recruiters - Government Agencies

Uncommon (but helpful) Resources

Museums - Aquariums - Farms - Local Artists - Yoga and Health Instructors - Movie Theaters - School Groups - Volunteer Groups - Day Camps - Parks&Rec - Banks - Law Enforcement Officers - Firemen - Any First Responder - Local Business Owners - Libraries

    I truly hope that this helps you on your journey to establishing your network in the wonderful world of advocacy. If there is anything else I can help with, please don't hesitate to reach out. I would also love to hear on the comment section any unique ways you have come across new resources or even out-of-the-box resources you use in your own work. Can't wait to hear from you!

Good Luck and Keep Fighting!

♥️ Jess

Random Acts of Kindness Calendar

     This is always a go to when I am teaching kindness in a support group. Since I try to keep this lesson as one of the first introductory topics to get kids in the swing of things (fourth week at the LATEST) I find that it sets a tone early on of carrying these skills and ideas home to practice throughout the rest of the week. It is a really fun activity to be done independently or as a family that DOUBLES as a tool for kids to use in their own journey to empowerment and adding a bit more kindness into the world. If it goes over well, this calendar can be adapted to other lessons as well. It can be used to create a schedule of self-esteem mantras, track things a child is grateful for around thanksgiving, and set small baby-step goals for responsibility.

I should mention that, personally, I try to keep my groups super low pressure. I have very little expectation when it comes to kids taking work home to complete and bring back. The kids that I (and I would assume you) work with are already carrying a heavy load of healing from their own stress in life as well as normal kid academic, homework, and extracurricular commitments. That being said, I have been known to offer small rewards for anyone that CHOOSES to take a worksheet like this home, complete it, and bring it back with proof (usually parent initial or testimony) that they actually followed through with a few of the things they wrote down. It is totally up to you to decide how much of a commitment you want your support group to be, but just keep in mind the age you’re working with and what else they likely have going on outside of your learning space.

Along with this calendar activity, I usually keep full page print outs of this adorable list from CoffeecupsAndCrayons to give to parents at the end of the group with the weekly newsletter. It is super cute with lots of color and has lots of ideas for cheap and free Random Act of Kindness tasks for kids and families to do. Typically my families don’t have much money to throw around at non-necessities so this is great to encourage low stress participation. Some of my favorites are making thank you and get well soon cards that can be hand delivered for free (or mailed for the cost of postage), picking flowers for a teacher, drying off play equipment at the park after it rains, and making kindness stones to place in public gardens. There are so many other great ideas all over the internet so you can choose to print off premade lists or create your own!

As far as the calendar itself, you can be as creative with this as you like. I never knew what age groups I was going to have until everyone arrived so for me it was practical to make and print off copies of my own calendar worksheet. Early on I used this activity when I was going to be teaching kindness in January and made specific month calendars with the dates already printed in. It was a cute way to tie in the new year and starting new habits of being kind. I found, however, that the activity had a lot of success and kids actually brought it back the next week, so I started using it throughout the year and had to make a flexible calendar. If you enjoy playing around with computer graphics programs like I do, I would recommend creating a basic 5x7 square calendar table with enough space for the kiddos to write in the month and dates themselves. Then you can keep copies to use at any time. I made a sample of something that I would use in one of my groups that also has space at the side where they can write down ideas they might hear during group that they can put into their calendar.

If you’re not computer savvy, don’t fret! There is also the option, especially with elementary and older groups, to make their own calendars. Really all you need to provide is some paper, markers and drawing utensils, and any other art supplies you have on hand (sticky notes and cut up paint chips from home improvement stores work great for calendar squares) and a sample calendar as a template. Then you can just let the kids get creative. This would even be a great art journaling project if you opt to have your groups keep a weekly journal throughout the sessions.

Finally, if neither of these appeal to you you can pretty easily pull up premade calendar templates in Microsoft office to print off or make copies of a store bought calendar page. Whatever you choose to do, I am sure it will. Get the job done and equip your kids for the job. I hope that this has been helpful. Please comment down below and let me know if you want to see more content like this. I would love to hear if you chose to use this activity and how it went. As always...

Good Luck & Keep Fighting,

Jess ♥️

Organizing a Support Group for BIGS - Ages 9+ years

 

    If this is the first post on TheTraumaTeacher that you are reading, stop what you are doing and rewind a few weeks to my “Support Groups for Kids?!” post before reading on. 

    Ahhh, the older middle/high school group. You would hope that this group might be a little easier and in some ways it is. By this age, your kids have developed a bit more of an ability to sit and chat as well as a more mature understanding of the world. They are getting their fill of their own life stresses with friend drama, relationship drama, standardized testing that will actually affect their future. You are honestly going to have some pretty awesome discussions with this group, some during which you may even be enlightened yourself. But in this day in age and all of the advances and information we have available to us, there is likely to be some lofty expectations coming your way. This group may enjoy a longer chit chat period, but you’re gonna have to wow them to get them truly engaged. Honestly, it is still an age I am honing my own skills on. Knowledge of the day’s pop culture will always play to your favor and any effort to include technology into this group will never go unnoticed. You just aren’t going to get away with presenting this group with coloring pages and playdoh….. At least, not if you don’t present them appropriately. You’re going to have to get creative.

As with the other posts, you may choose to separate your ages different from how I have done mine. This has been solely based on my needs and resources as an advocate. You can only have as many groups as you’re able to have supervision for. I have done all ages working in one group and I have done three separate groups with age appropriate material. I’ve even had to switch back and forth each week between formats simply because there weren’t enough hands on deck from week to week. This post specifically may be something you choose to re-work because 9-18 years old is a HUGE range to accommodate at once. I get that. I’ve thought that. I feel it in the depth of my soul. But in a pinch, this can be an option that can almost actually work.

DROP-OFF

This can be a much more laid back sign-in situation. I highly recommend with any and all age groups to establish an actual “sign-in” procedure. If you’re operating under any kind of non-profit or charity organization receiving grant funding to provide your services, you will likely be expected to produce regular reports on the number of services you are providing and the number of clients you are providing them for during a period. Having a log sheet where each child is signed in on arrival can assist with completing these reports. These logs can also assist with tracking each child’s progress if you’re planning a “graduation” style session end as well as serve as an added safety measure and roster should an emergency arise (sudden flashback to teachers calling roster during school fire drills).

At this age, kids and teens have reached a point that they -should- be able to keep track of a notebook or packet long term. It could be an option to establish a session-long journal keeping project that they either bring with them to group each week or leave with you from week to week. This then could be tied into the “starter” work suggestion from our littles group planning. At this age, appropriate starter work could be a writing prompt, a short, creative writing or art project, puzzles or critical thinking activities, or even a more advanced pre-printed worksheet. This is, of course, simply one idea among lots of possibilities. You may even opt to skip an opening assignment all together and just let the kids mingle. You may choose to have an optional assignment available but not required for those who are less social than others. You also may have ideas that I’ve yet to imagine. If that is the case, I would love to hear below in the comments what you’ve tried or are thinking of trying. We are all in this together.

TOPIC DISCUSSION

Before jumping into the meat of what you’ll talk about with this age, I want to take a moment and discuss the importance of atmosphere and setting the stage for optimal discussion. I’ve mentioned before that luckily with this age group, you’re going to be able to enjoy much longer attention spans which is true. However, at this age the classroom setting and style is really starting to get old. They’ve been in school a while, their lives mostly revolve around either doing work in school or studying and doing work at home. They are always at tables and desks doing work. Now, there is nothing wrong with opting for a class setting for this group. They will understand it and hopefully meet behavioral and participation expectations you have of them. I would, however, encourage you to consider another angle that I feel has more potential for allowing adolescent aged kids to open up more freely: the casual lounge/coffee shop approach. Now this is, like everything else, going to be totally dependent on what spaces and resources you have available to you, but in my personal experience I have had much more in depth and personal conversations with older kids while relaxing in bean bag chairs and sofas than sitting at desks. 

Now back to the discussion topics. The beauty of the curriculum I created and used in my time working with children was that it was so adaptable and customizable. If you read my last post on Organizing Support Programming for LITTLES, you know that my favorite go-to for lesson topics and inspiration is basic character education concepts. Breaking these character words down to the bare bones with dictionary definitions and simple reflective questions set the stage for unlimited possibilities for adaption. Will you choose this route for your curriculum? Maybe not and that is ok. You may choose to have different plans for every group level you end up facilitating. As long as you are relating to what that age group is struggling with and going through in their day today life, you’re golden. If you don’t know what they’re struggling with, don’t hesitate to ask them. I have been known to sit down with my Bigs group and simply ask what they need to talk about, what was hard about the day, and what they have had on their mind. At this age, talking it out is totally appropriate. I would recommend though if you’re doing 9+ to preface those questions with the fact that it is a large age group and advise the older ones to censor what they say to a roughly PG-13 level. This can be a great experience for those younger Bigs that are only starting to hear gossip about dating and drama to learn how to process and deal with those situations before entering the deep end of their teen years.

Finally, like I said before, you’re gonna want to consider wowing them and getting creative. Crayons and playdoh aren’t going to cut it unless used right. You may want to brush up on your computer skills or find websites that easily help you accomplish awesome results. This age group are going to appreciate popular memes and videos, TikTok, group computer games projected onto the wall like jeopardy or family feud. Think of ways you can bring what you want to teach into our current technological age. Don’t have the resources? It happens. I didn’t either but even something as simple as working memes, emojis, and text speech into your activities are something your group will appreciate.

DRIVE IT HOME

A lot of your time with this group is going to be spent on discussion. They are really going to need to talk things out and process the emotions that they need to deal with. This doesn’t mean that this group doesn’t want and need to have fun and blow off steam. I mentioned a few technology-centric ideas in the last section, but you don't have to be a computer programmer if. You simply don’t have access to those tools. Competition and art activities can be a great way to engage this age and get them smiling and having fun. For perseverance, I had my groups engage in a challenge I caught wind of on social media building paper towers with only five sheets of paper. I set a timer, split the group into teams, and the group with the tallest freestanding tower by the time the tower went off got an extra reach into my “goodie” prize bag. Mixed medium self portraits, word art, and other competitive team activities are wonderful options that may interest a group of this age. Don’t forget to throw in some sessions with “just for fun” activities too. If you have the outdoor space this group would thoroughly enjoy balloon dart painting, tie dye, or any other large scale abstract project that would allow for expression and creativity to flow freely. This type of activity works perfectly with a session about self-esteem and self-care.

SEND OFF

Just like with every other group, you want to be able to say that you have provided every tool and bit of information that you possibly could for these skills to be practiced through the rest of the week. I would encourage you to inform the parents of your group about what you work. On each week and the instructions for any activities you do so that they might be recreated at home if they choose to do so. Even better would be to, just like with the littles group, send additional handouts and brochures with tips and information to support families with adolescents and teens. Lists of relatable movies, books, podcasts, blogs, YouTube videos, and community resources are good options.

The great thing about this age is that you can also give them optional at home work. The Random Acts of Kindness calendar I mentioned in a previous post, you can give this directly to your Big kids to do on their own. I actually have opted to give my kids blank calendars with a list of suggested “RAOK” and let them fill in and check them off on their own. Anyone that could complete a full week of random kindnesses would get some sort of special prize the next week. Make sure your suggestions are little to no cost and easily done on their own. I’ve suggested cleaning out toys or clothes they can't wear to donate, making and sending Get Well Soon notes, completing chores around the house without being asked, offering to help a friend study for a big test. Kindness doesn’t have to cost.

This can be a really fun and rewarding group to work with. Adolescents, teens, and tweens have granted me some of the best group conversations that I can remember. This is an age where you can have really gritty conversations about real life problems. I hope that this helps in your journey of program development for the older aged kiddos in your life. If I missed anything, you have questions, or would like to share your own experiences for others to learn from just as I am, please don’t hesitate to interact in the comments. I would love the hear and see what has worked for you and yours.

Also, as I mention in each post, my experience comes mostly from a background mostly in work with abuse and violence victims. Every example I have given has been used in that context, however I do truly believe that the tips and basic ideas behind this format. Could work for children and adolescents of any demographic. If you are working to develop support programming for minors. with other backgrounds and needs, reach out! I would love to collaborate and throw around ideas that could help you in that process and journey. 

I hope that this special Child Abuse Awareness Month series has been an inspiration to someone. Stay tuned for new posts every Saturday with more tips, tricks, experiences, and even lesson plan inspiration for those in the advocacy field. If there is anything specific you would like for me to cover or share, please reach out. Until then...

Good Luck & Keep Fighting,

Jess ♥️

Organizing a Support Group for LITTLES - Ages 4-9 years

    Welcome to the elementary level group. Bear in mind that your age ranges don’t have to match mine exactly. Honestly I just made an educated guess on where to draw the line and ran with it. It is all going to depend on your needs and the resources you have available to you. If this is the first post on TheTraumaTeacher that you are reading, stop what you are doing and rewind a few weeks to my “Support Groups for Kids?!” post before reading on. 

This is where a classroom style group is really going to start making sense. Kids this age are either just starting school and learning the routines or already have a few years experience under their belts knowing what to expect. No need to try and reinvent the wheel here. Something that you will want to keep in mind with this age group, though, is the short attention span. Elementary schools have recess and hands on project learning for a reason. Children this age aren’t going to learn well by sitting quietly listening or even conversation. They need to be engaged in interesting things and moving around once in a while.

For littles, I have found it best to switch gears often and plan a series of activities related to the main topic so the kiddos don’t have enough time to get bored. It is also a good idea to give them an opportunity to burn off any excess wiggly energy before starting discussion. As with every other post, I would like to remind that my background is mainly in working with children affected by violence and abuse but truly believe that this basic layout can work for children of any demographic in need of support programming.

DROP-OFF

This is going to be highly dependent on what resources and spaces you have available to you as well as any schedule you are having to abide by. The most successful drop-off scenario I have had thus far has been an outdoor sign-in procedure. Parents were asked to accompany their child to the drop-off and actively sign their child into the group. This has a lot of positive benefits. It gave myself the opportunity to speak briefly with the parent about how the week has been and get a feel for if the family was in need of any further services or referrals usually out of earshot of the already playing child. It is a great low-pressure atmosphere for any children new to the group as they can choose to join a group of already playing children to get acquainted or play on their own and observe while they adapt. It also serves the aforementioned purpose of getting out any overflowing wiggles before the group. This is by far my favorite approach as it gives kids time to just BE KIDS around other kids like them.

In times where weather has been an issue, a backup plan I have used has been the parent settling the child in for dinner at drop-off. If the group I was facilitating wasn’t having a meal, I would have related “starter” worksheets made up and printed set up in a way that the children could access on their own as they entered along with pencils, crayons, or any other tools needed for the assignment. Unfortunately a downside to this approach with this age is that you will likely have kiddos still learning to read and write and may be unable to complete it on their own (usually leading to bored and frustrated misbehavior). I mostly use this approach if I am short on extra adult hands and have a combined littles/bigs group and older kids are available to help the younger ones. This is not a perfect approach and definitely has its hang ups but it can do in a pinch. You are basically just aiming to keep your group engaged and entertained long enough that everyone can filter in (someone is ALWAYS late).

TOPIC DISCUSSION

Imagine you’re a teacher. Now open your eyes because that is exactly what you are. Or at least to them you are, which is a good thing. School teaches kids to respect, listen to, and trust their teachers so let them believe it. No need to confuse them with titles they’ve never heard of. If you’re group is violence or abuse related, this can also have an added benefit should there be a visitation agreement in place and the child decides to starting talking about their favorite teacher Ms. Jessie and how fun she is during those visitations with the other parent. “Advocate” may raise eyebrows and trigger further questioning.

Again the number and subject of your topics is going to be totally relative to your needs and resources. My experience usually meant I was working in unison with an adult support program so I mirrored the format of that group when deciding how long my program cycles would be. If they had an off week with some sort of special event planned, I would plan something on my end as well. My group started when theirs started and ended when theirs ended.

In the groups that I have facilitated, the best basis for themes that I have found thus far have revolved around character education. Most children have heard the theme words I use from their teachers, guidance counsellors, coaches, and likely even their parents at home. An observation I noticed in myself as well as in these kids AND their parents is that the theme words I chose were used so often and freely that when I asked anyone what the word actually meant, they weren’t able to tell me. Take a moment for yourself and try to write down definitions for a few of the following words WITHOUT using the word in the definition: Humility, Forgiveness, Self-Esteem, Respect, Responsibility. You may be tempted to write examples instead of a definition, but those still don’t explain WHAT those words MEAN. That is what I chose to teach. Every lesson started with that exact exercise as I called on raised hands to try and give me a real definition for that night’s topic word. We then followed it up with the actual dictionary definition. My goal was to break these big, seemingly simple but surprisingly complex concepts down to their bare bones. This way, I wasn’t telling these kids where they should be seeing examples of each topic, but giving them the ability to evaluate situations on their own. I followed the definition with a few pre-planned discussion questions to encourage participation and critical thinking. Some examples of these open ended questions might have been: How do we show humility? What are the benefits of being responsible? What does low self-esteem look like? Who does forgiveness affect? Questions like these, I’ve found, do a great job at allowing a child to reflect on their own experiences and interactions in a gentle and healthy way. It is worth mentioning that with this age, you’re going to want to watch the clock and try to keep this section short with a max time of 30 minutes or the wiggles will emerge.

DRIVE IT HOME

This will be the bulk of your group time so prepare accordingly. As mentioned before, kids this age are wiggly and short fused. They aren’t going to cooperate doing one activity for too long. You have a couple of options here. You can have preset activities for each topic (I would recommend 2-3 for each) or you can use a method that worked for me and create a pool of activities that you mix and match from each week. This is a great method if you are just starting out and have more topics than you have activities and can also allow your group to revisit and recycle some old favorites from earlier in the session. Again, keep them short and prepare multiple. If you see your kids losing interest, move on to the next one. You also want to make sure you’re taking the time to reflect with the kids on how the activity relates back to the night’s topic. Don’t just tell them, ask why they think you chose that game. A crowd favorite of mine has always been a game I called “blind man.” It was super flexible because it could be easily adapted to almost half of my curriculum and the kids always asked to play it over and over. Their favorite was when it was Ms. Jessie’s turn to wear the blindfold and they got to tell me where to walk. If you’re interested in this activity, let me know in the comments and I will make a future post with more information about it.

SEND OFF

Now is when things can get a bit tricky if you don’t have procedures in place. For a long time, I struggled with being at the mercy of another group and never knowing when my group was going to end. Some sessions we would get through everything on time and I would just be throwing coloring sheets at the kids trying to keep them entertained until they were picked up. Other sessions we would be halfway through our first activity and giving directions with parents suddenly starting to filter in half an hour earlier than they were expected causing my entire group to dissolve into chaos. Any point I had been trying to get across was effectively shattered. There is a better way, but it takes a lot of persistence and communication of expectation. What worked for me was to have a waiting area set up for parents outside of my teaching zone with already printed and displayed information about what was going on with kids programming. This would usually consist of the weekly newsletter covered the night’s lesson plan, a calendar of upcoming events that month, and an extra handout or brochure detailing further information or a local resource to help continue practicing the skill learned that night. Some handouts might have self-esteem building positive affirmations for the family to practice, a list of age appropriate books about the nightly topic, or a calendar of easy and free/cheap acts of kindness for the parents to consider trying. I would also have instructions in this area that group was still taking place and would be finished momentarily. 

Is everyone going to pay attention to this? Not at first and some maybe not ever. But with consistency, I hope you will have mostly success with this method. As I’ve said before, the best we can do is put the tools in a person’s hands and hope they use them. It isn’t our fault if they don’t, but it can't be said that we didn’t try and give it our all.

I feel it is important to remind anyone reading this far into the post that our job, tasks, and responsibilities are just as important, if not debatably more important than anyone else’s. Anyone that works with children has worked far too long in a world where no matter what role they were in or age they worked with, they were seen by an alarming chunk of the population as babysitters.  This just is not so. Especially if you are working in an advocacy field, but even those working across the board in child related fields, your work is important. We are the architects of the future. It is our job to shape, inform, and prepare the minds of the upcoming generation to run this world when we are gone. The people that we are shaping will still be around as we grow old as our doctors, nurses, lawyers, bankers, drivers, cashiers, cooks, etc. The skills and knowledge we teach them will affect their ability to carry out those jobs for sure, but the wisdom and morality that we bestow on them will affect how well and compassionately they treat us while they do.

As always, I hope that this information helps you in your journey creating your own children’s programming. If you have any questions about any of the information in this post, what me to elaborate on anything specific, or would even like to share your own experiences, I would love to interact with you in the comments. As always…

Good Luck & Keep Fighting,

Jess ♥️

Organizing a Support Group for TEENIES - Ages 0-4 years

    This is probably the age group that I get the most funny looks about when I mention it but hear me out. If this is the first post on TheTraumaTeacher that you are reading, stop what you are doing and rewind a few weeks to my “Support Groups for Kids?!” post before reading on. 

As you know, I am a firm believer in the intense effects of trauma on this age group. Just looking at it from common sense alone, humans learn more information and skills in the first three years of life ON THEIR OWN than they seemingly do the rest of their grade school career. (DISCLAIMER: not an actual scientific statistic, but… like… it’s pretty close right? Someone smarter than me, study this!) Seemingly, a lot of what children learn in school is simply building off of what was learned in those first lucrative years. Children who already learned how to move their limbs and use their strength go on to hone them for sports. They already learned how to form sounds and words with their voices, so they hone those skills for reading and writing. They have learned emotions and family bonding, they go on to use that information to make friends and build their community. Because of the pandemic and so much being communicated online for school and work, I have caught a few glimpses on social media recently for incoming kindergarten expectations and requirements in my area. Just browsing through the digital pamphlet, you may be surprised to learn that a lot of the requirements are based largely around average and natural development. Things on the list include that a child enjoy exploration through play, be confident in learning, shows independence, respects people and property, etc. These are things that aren’t generally taught directly by a parent, but learned from observation, trial, and critical thinking. If we know and see so clearly that infants and toddlers are absorbing this massive amount of information in those first 2-3 years of life, then it is also clear to see how a traumatic event or series of events could negatively affect the child just as easily and impactfully. 

So what DOES a support group for infants, toddlers, and preschool aged children look like? Well, it is definitely not a scene from Boss Baby with tiny suits and long boardroom tables. A support group catering to this age is exactly what you think it is, a playgroup but with a therapeutic twist. If you aren’t sure how to relate to this age, find a friend who works in the baby room of a daycare. Better yet, see if that friend can get you permission to visit their classroom and observe. I am going to walk you through some of my own experiences, observations, and techniques for successfully working with a Teenies-aged group.

DROP-OFF

If you have ever been around a toddler for any length of time, you likely know that transitions are not at all their strong suit. Your best bet if this is the only age group you are working with in a session is to attempt to stay in your group learning space the entire duration of the group with as few distractions as possible. If this isn’t possible for one reason or another, then try to build your schedule with as few transition periods as you can manage. If a mealtime is included during your group time, don’t try to schedule that meal with playtime before AND after the meal. For example, have parents prep and settle their child into their high chair or seat at drop off to have the meal first, then you will only have one transition from meal table to learning space. You can also try this in the opposite order, but take into consideration that hungry babies are grumpy babies and taking toys from children is never a fun experience. You can also take a moment to ask parents about when the child had their last meal/diaper change so you can have a bit more of an idea of what to expect during group time. I would highly recommend handling as much dirty work as possible before settling into the meat of your therapeutic play so you can hopefully have fewer distractions (ie: meal cleanup, child clean up, dirty diapers, potty time, etc). 

EXPERT TIP: This may be obvious, but having a space designated for parents to store a child’s diaper bag and belongings can be a life saver. In the past, I have utilized specific corners, wall hooks, and tables and asked parents to place the belongings there themselves so it became an eventual routine. Make sure whatever form your space takes, it is near the bathroom/changing stations!

TOPIC DISCUSSION

Okay, for teenies, this can take a bit more creative thinking but gets relatively simple as you get used to it. I prepare for a teenie group just like I would for any other group. I start by getting a good idea of the topic we will be focusing on and pulling learning tools and activities together that will help encourage topic-related play. This means choosing toys, story-time books, and maybe even music related to the topic. If you happen to want to focus on humility for a session, you might want to equip your play space with books about helping others and draw focus to toys that require taking turns and sharing. You will also want to prepare an artillery of encouragements, compliments, and verbal warnings relating to being humble (You did a great job at being humble by letting Sally go first! You thought about her before thinking about you!, How did it make you feel when Tommy took the toy from you? His action caused you to be sad. The things we do can affect how others think and feel too.) You also want to keep in mind specific behaviors to watch for that emphasize the topic. If you are talking about respect, you may work a lot of “manner words” into conversation and make a big deal when another child uses one without being prompted. Topics at this age are taught mostly through observation and environment. Think about what topics you would want to teach a group of infants and toddlers, and then how you would create an environment centering on the concept. 

DRIVE IT HOME

You may choose to do one major game or craft at this age, but usually it just ends up being a memento for the parent. Some ideas I have used in the past were greeting cards to mail for family and friends to teach Kindness, Humility, or Compassion (thank you cards could be used for gratitude), decorated age appropriate (toddler) chore charts for responsibility, and “cup races” across the floor for Perseverance. Again, most of the topic teaching is going to be done through lots of passive verbal communication during carefully tailored free play, but this is definitely something you could do.

SEND OFF

This may be the smoothest of all the age group send offs because this group is so much less structured. There isn’t a set “lesson” to interrupt and usually parents stand by and watch kids play and be adorable for a minute anyway. The tip from earlier about having a designated area for belongings will make this go even more smooth as everything they came with will be in one place ready to leave back out with them. Children at this age often light up when they first see their parent return (assuming it is not an abusive parent) and pretty easily go with them unless they are just too wrapped up in their play. As I’ve stated before, transitions are never easy at this age so a verbal reminder every five minutes leading up to a change in environment can work wonders in preparing a child for what to expect (are you ready to go home in 15/10/5 minutes? Did you have fun during our group time?) It can also help to have a wrap up routine as a visual signal to kiddos that group is almost over. At 15 minutes, you could initiate last potty time and check all diapers, at 10 minutes you can make sure all belongings are correctly packed in their area, and at 5 minutes you can start to tidy toys and books that aren’t being played with anymore.

Most importantly, you want to make each parent aware of what was worked on and how they can continue the lesson at home. Will they do it? Who knows, but you can equip them. Luckily at this age, it's mostly just vocabulary cues. Continuing to encourage manner words, talking about kind acts, saying thank you to enforce gratitude and appreciation are all great suggestions to give parents to continue lessons at home. Even if you don’t think a parent will follow through, they may surprise you and the simple act of specifically mentioning it may run through their mind when they least expect it. If you take it seriously, a parent has the chance to take it seriously too. 

Hopefully this post inspired you to see the beauty and potential that an infant/toddler support group can have. It is an age group that often gets overlooked and underserved based on the thought that children are “too young to remember.” However I am of the utmost belief that this is the most affected group when considering long term effects of trauma and stress. As always, this was developed mainly through experience working with children who have experienced violence and abuse, but I do believe that with a bit of brainstorming that it could fit the needs of any demographic. If you have any questions or want further ideas and inspiration for a Teenies group, don’t hesitate to reach out in the comments and I will do my best to oblige.

Good Luck & Keep Fighting,

Jess ♥️