Building Your Resource Network

     Welcome to the world of advocacy! You’ve submitted your resume, aced the interview process, been welcomed in by a new employer and a hardworking team of do-gooders just trying to make the world a better place, and now you’re sitting at the desk you’ve been assigned staring at a blank computer screen begging your office phone not to ring. Don’t worry, we’ve all been there. We have all been the “new kid” in the office that barely knows what is going on, asks questions that the rest of the staff are able to answer without even thinking, and felt that surge of nervous energy when duty calls. I like to think that everyone still gets those jolts once in a while. I certainly do. Just like the clients we work with, we are all human and we don’t always have all of the answers. In fact, we never will. If we were able to magically conjure new homes, immune systems, jobs, cures, families, cars, or literally anything else our clients needed and hand them over on a silver platter neatly tied up with a bow, we would be miracle workers. But that isn’t how the world works. Resources come and go every day and it is absolutely impossible to keep up with what is out there. Even ten years in, you will learn about new programs and services around your area and find that ones you’ve used for years have unfortunately gone away. It is all a part of the job. Over time, you will be able to sit in front of a client and be able to at least start to make a plan with them for how to move forward from whatever life has thrown their way. Some of the information will seemingly find you, some of it you will hear about from one place or another, and some of it you will have to do the legwork to find yourself. I am going to give you a few ideas of where and how to find information on resources in your area as well as some critical and optional resources you should always be keeping an ear out for.

    Where?    

Within Your Agency

The first place you should absolutely start looking for resources is right outside your office door! In some work environments, it may be heavily discouraged to spend too much time “chit-chatting” at someone else’s desk or in their office. Not my idea of keeping morale up, but that is none of my business. However in the world of advocacy, collaboration is key. This is not a competition and we do not get paid on commission. There is no prize for knowing more resources than the girl in the next office over and it should never feel that way. When an advocate doesn’t have a client in their office or a call coming across their phone, they should absolutely be sharing ideas, resources, and hang-ups with their co-workers. There have been so many times that I have actually sat in with another advocate while they worked with a client and took mental notes on how they handled the case and what resources they sent them to. In fact, part of your induction into an agency should be just that - job shadowing and asking questions. If you are managing a case with struggles outside of your working knowledge, don’t hesitate to walk over to another advocate’s office and run the situation by them. The majority of skills and knowledge we attain in this field is learned through monkey see, monkey do. Not only is spending time in your coworker’s office beneficial to learning resources, but it helps to vent frustrations as well without breaking confidentiality. Just don’t overstay your welcome and make sure your work is up -to-date!

Archives

As I’ve mentioned a few times before, when I started as a children’s advocate I came into a pretty much clean slate. Though there was really nothing in place program-wise, there was a lot of paperwork left behind compiled by other employees through the years who dealt with the children’s programs of old. Mind you, most of the pamphlets and workbooks dated back to the 80s and 90s, it gave me a great place to start. It will take a lot of time, but if your agency has old paperwork, pamphlets, literature, or anything else printed by third parties it is worth it to keep your laptop/tablet/phone with you while you clean to see if some of those organizations are still operating. If they are, most places are happy to speak with you about current services if you reach out by phone and you may even be able to visit their local branch to pick up more recent literature (ALWAYS HAVE LITERATURE). Cleaning out the stockroom doesn’t sound so bad now, does it….. Yeah, ok. It still is, but you get what I’m saying.

Colleagues

Let me first start off by saying I have only recently begun using this word because it sounds so grown-up and I also have only recently realized that I even HAVE colleagues now. I just pray that I am using it right. Honestly, if you haven’t figured it out by now I am terrible at being an adult and often forget that I even am one. So yeah, there's that.

After a while of referring clients and patients to different resources, you will begin to develop professional relationships with people providing the services you refer to. Before you even realize it, you will call to confirm a therapy form has successfully processed and end up chatting with Cheryl, the patient coordinator, about how excited you are that the waiting list for housing is opening back up and checking to make sure that Cheryl’s dog was feeling better since she took it to the vet last time you both talked and comparing the best natural dog foods for different issues and how nice the weather has been this week which is perfect because Cheryl received a flyer that there are scholarships available for youth softball this year but it looks like it’s going to get cold again the weekend but that’s okay because your plans were just to curl up on the couch with Netflix and a mug of hot tea anyway……… See where I’m going? When you continually work with the same people over and over, you create a bond with them. This bond leads to longer conversations which tends to lead to information about other agencies and services they work with or have heard about. If you and your colleague from the hospital are talking and you mention how hard of a time you’ve been having connecting with low-cost clinics in the area catering to kids, your colleague very well may have some insider knowledge from within the medical field of a new clinic opening up nearby or perhaps be able to connect you with a friend of theirs in pediatrics. I highly encourage you to communicate with your resources like the people that they are because we are all really just trying to create a better world. It may even get you invited to take part in local collaborative groups and efforts, which leads me to my next suggestion..

Committees and Collaborative Efforts

Typically you have to know somebody that knows somebody to even hear about these groups, much less get an invite to attend. It isn’t intended to be that way and I assure you that most groups would really prefer more people knew about their efforts but most of these committees are small and serve a targeted audience. Once you have established your presence and started relationships with your small pool of resources, you may begin to hear about committees made up of employees from other agencies working toward your same goal. GO TO THESE MEETINGS! Find out when they are. Find out where they are held. Go to Dollar tree, pick up a little $1 notebook, and march yourself into that meeting taking down names, agencies, services, and any other information you can grab. Take the pamphlets and the flyers. This, ladies and gentlemen, is networking. This has been the absolute best place thus far that I have been able to compile resources and actually meet the people providing the services. Also, make sure to take your business card so you can tell others what you are doing as well. I have met daycare organizers, special needs medical providers, child therapists, museum program coordinators, farmers, artists, yoga teachers, gardeners, and so many other wonderful and out of the box resources through these meetings. I have also been invited to attend trainings through colleagues I have met through committees that I never would have known about otherwise because they weren’t directly tied to my field. In fact, I even was invited to give a training to early educators on the subject of domestic violence and its effect on children because of these connections. Networking is going to play a massive role in rounding out your resource library to make sure you’ve covered bases you didn’t even know were going to come up. Network. Just do it. You’ll thank me later.

Good Ole Google

When it’s the eleventh hour and you’ve still not been able to find that resource your client needs so desperately, turn to the tried and true. There is a lot to be said about opening your favorite search engine and typing in exactly what you need. Really, all you need to put in is the type of resource you’re looking for and your zip code or town name for a plethora of options to come up. Then just pick up the phone and call for more info. Most agencies have all of their information online including referral forms, but it is handy to call ahead and introduce yourself to verify that they will, in fact, accept a referral from you. I’ve found every one that I have worked with has appreciated the intro call and even invited me to their agency to tell me more about their programs. If you are working with an agency that is overseen by a larger umbrella-type organization such as a coalition or network, look them up too. I have reached out to my local state’s director of child advocacy several times to learn about resources and funding available as well as been connected to other professionals as well.

    What to look for?    

Common Resources

Clinics - Food Banks - Churches - Clothing Closets - Thrift Stores - Medical Offices - Lawyers - Therapists - Daycares - Schools - Tutoring - Housing/Landlords - Job Recruiters - Government Agencies

Uncommon (but helpful) Resources

Museums - Aquariums - Farms - Local Artists - Yoga and Health Instructors - Movie Theaters - School Groups - Volunteer Groups - Day Camps - Parks&Rec - Banks - Law Enforcement Officers - Firemen - Any First Responder - Local Business Owners - Libraries

    I truly hope that this helps you on your journey to establishing your network in the wonderful world of advocacy. If there is anything else I can help with, please don't hesitate to reach out. I would also love to hear on the comment section any unique ways you have come across new resources or even out-of-the-box resources you use in your own work. Can't wait to hear from you!

Good Luck and Keep Fighting!

♥️ Jess

Organizing a Support Group for BIGS - Ages 9+ years

 

    If this is the first post on TheTraumaTeacher that you are reading, stop what you are doing and rewind a few weeks to my “Support Groups for Kids?!” post before reading on. 

    Ahhh, the older middle/high school group. You would hope that this group might be a little easier and in some ways it is. By this age, your kids have developed a bit more of an ability to sit and chat as well as a more mature understanding of the world. They are getting their fill of their own life stresses with friend drama, relationship drama, standardized testing that will actually affect their future. You are honestly going to have some pretty awesome discussions with this group, some during which you may even be enlightened yourself. But in this day in age and all of the advances and information we have available to us, there is likely to be some lofty expectations coming your way. This group may enjoy a longer chit chat period, but you’re gonna have to wow them to get them truly engaged. Honestly, it is still an age I am honing my own skills on. Knowledge of the day’s pop culture will always play to your favor and any effort to include technology into this group will never go unnoticed. You just aren’t going to get away with presenting this group with coloring pages and playdoh….. At least, not if you don’t present them appropriately. You’re going to have to get creative.

As with the other posts, you may choose to separate your ages different from how I have done mine. This has been solely based on my needs and resources as an advocate. You can only have as many groups as you’re able to have supervision for. I have done all ages working in one group and I have done three separate groups with age appropriate material. I’ve even had to switch back and forth each week between formats simply because there weren’t enough hands on deck from week to week. This post specifically may be something you choose to re-work because 9-18 years old is a HUGE range to accommodate at once. I get that. I’ve thought that. I feel it in the depth of my soul. But in a pinch, this can be an option that can almost actually work.

DROP-OFF

This can be a much more laid back sign-in situation. I highly recommend with any and all age groups to establish an actual “sign-in” procedure. If you’re operating under any kind of non-profit or charity organization receiving grant funding to provide your services, you will likely be expected to produce regular reports on the number of services you are providing and the number of clients you are providing them for during a period. Having a log sheet where each child is signed in on arrival can assist with completing these reports. These logs can also assist with tracking each child’s progress if you’re planning a “graduation” style session end as well as serve as an added safety measure and roster should an emergency arise (sudden flashback to teachers calling roster during school fire drills).

At this age, kids and teens have reached a point that they -should- be able to keep track of a notebook or packet long term. It could be an option to establish a session-long journal keeping project that they either bring with them to group each week or leave with you from week to week. This then could be tied into the “starter” work suggestion from our littles group planning. At this age, appropriate starter work could be a writing prompt, a short, creative writing or art project, puzzles or critical thinking activities, or even a more advanced pre-printed worksheet. This is, of course, simply one idea among lots of possibilities. You may even opt to skip an opening assignment all together and just let the kids mingle. You may choose to have an optional assignment available but not required for those who are less social than others. You also may have ideas that I’ve yet to imagine. If that is the case, I would love to hear below in the comments what you’ve tried or are thinking of trying. We are all in this together.

TOPIC DISCUSSION

Before jumping into the meat of what you’ll talk about with this age, I want to take a moment and discuss the importance of atmosphere and setting the stage for optimal discussion. I’ve mentioned before that luckily with this age group, you’re going to be able to enjoy much longer attention spans which is true. However, at this age the classroom setting and style is really starting to get old. They’ve been in school a while, their lives mostly revolve around either doing work in school or studying and doing work at home. They are always at tables and desks doing work. Now, there is nothing wrong with opting for a class setting for this group. They will understand it and hopefully meet behavioral and participation expectations you have of them. I would, however, encourage you to consider another angle that I feel has more potential for allowing adolescent aged kids to open up more freely: the casual lounge/coffee shop approach. Now this is, like everything else, going to be totally dependent on what spaces and resources you have available to you, but in my personal experience I have had much more in depth and personal conversations with older kids while relaxing in bean bag chairs and sofas than sitting at desks. 

Now back to the discussion topics. The beauty of the curriculum I created and used in my time working with children was that it was so adaptable and customizable. If you read my last post on Organizing Support Programming for LITTLES, you know that my favorite go-to for lesson topics and inspiration is basic character education concepts. Breaking these character words down to the bare bones with dictionary definitions and simple reflective questions set the stage for unlimited possibilities for adaption. Will you choose this route for your curriculum? Maybe not and that is ok. You may choose to have different plans for every group level you end up facilitating. As long as you are relating to what that age group is struggling with and going through in their day today life, you’re golden. If you don’t know what they’re struggling with, don’t hesitate to ask them. I have been known to sit down with my Bigs group and simply ask what they need to talk about, what was hard about the day, and what they have had on their mind. At this age, talking it out is totally appropriate. I would recommend though if you’re doing 9+ to preface those questions with the fact that it is a large age group and advise the older ones to censor what they say to a roughly PG-13 level. This can be a great experience for those younger Bigs that are only starting to hear gossip about dating and drama to learn how to process and deal with those situations before entering the deep end of their teen years.

Finally, like I said before, you’re gonna want to consider wowing them and getting creative. Crayons and playdoh aren’t going to cut it unless used right. You may want to brush up on your computer skills or find websites that easily help you accomplish awesome results. This age group are going to appreciate popular memes and videos, TikTok, group computer games projected onto the wall like jeopardy or family feud. Think of ways you can bring what you want to teach into our current technological age. Don’t have the resources? It happens. I didn’t either but even something as simple as working memes, emojis, and text speech into your activities are something your group will appreciate.

DRIVE IT HOME

A lot of your time with this group is going to be spent on discussion. They are really going to need to talk things out and process the emotions that they need to deal with. This doesn’t mean that this group doesn’t want and need to have fun and blow off steam. I mentioned a few technology-centric ideas in the last section, but you don't have to be a computer programmer if. You simply don’t have access to those tools. Competition and art activities can be a great way to engage this age and get them smiling and having fun. For perseverance, I had my groups engage in a challenge I caught wind of on social media building paper towers with only five sheets of paper. I set a timer, split the group into teams, and the group with the tallest freestanding tower by the time the tower went off got an extra reach into my “goodie” prize bag. Mixed medium self portraits, word art, and other competitive team activities are wonderful options that may interest a group of this age. Don’t forget to throw in some sessions with “just for fun” activities too. If you have the outdoor space this group would thoroughly enjoy balloon dart painting, tie dye, or any other large scale abstract project that would allow for expression and creativity to flow freely. This type of activity works perfectly with a session about self-esteem and self-care.

SEND OFF

Just like with every other group, you want to be able to say that you have provided every tool and bit of information that you possibly could for these skills to be practiced through the rest of the week. I would encourage you to inform the parents of your group about what you work. On each week and the instructions for any activities you do so that they might be recreated at home if they choose to do so. Even better would be to, just like with the littles group, send additional handouts and brochures with tips and information to support families with adolescents and teens. Lists of relatable movies, books, podcasts, blogs, YouTube videos, and community resources are good options.

The great thing about this age is that you can also give them optional at home work. The Random Acts of Kindness calendar I mentioned in a previous post, you can give this directly to your Big kids to do on their own. I actually have opted to give my kids blank calendars with a list of suggested “RAOK” and let them fill in and check them off on their own. Anyone that could complete a full week of random kindnesses would get some sort of special prize the next week. Make sure your suggestions are little to no cost and easily done on their own. I’ve suggested cleaning out toys or clothes they can't wear to donate, making and sending Get Well Soon notes, completing chores around the house without being asked, offering to help a friend study for a big test. Kindness doesn’t have to cost.

This can be a really fun and rewarding group to work with. Adolescents, teens, and tweens have granted me some of the best group conversations that I can remember. This is an age where you can have really gritty conversations about real life problems. I hope that this helps in your journey of program development for the older aged kiddos in your life. If I missed anything, you have questions, or would like to share your own experiences for others to learn from just as I am, please don’t hesitate to interact in the comments. I would love the hear and see what has worked for you and yours.

Also, as I mention in each post, my experience comes mostly from a background mostly in work with abuse and violence victims. Every example I have given has been used in that context, however I do truly believe that the tips and basic ideas behind this format. Could work for children and adolescents of any demographic. If you are working to develop support programming for minors. with other backgrounds and needs, reach out! I would love to collaborate and throw around ideas that could help you in that process and journey. 

I hope that this special Child Abuse Awareness Month series has been an inspiration to someone. Stay tuned for new posts every Saturday with more tips, tricks, experiences, and even lesson plan inspiration for those in the advocacy field. If there is anything specific you would like for me to cover or share, please reach out. Until then...

Good Luck & Keep Fighting,

Jess ♥️

Organizing a Support Group for LITTLES - Ages 4-9 years

    Welcome to the elementary level group. Bear in mind that your age ranges don’t have to match mine exactly. Honestly I just made an educated guess on where to draw the line and ran with it. It is all going to depend on your needs and the resources you have available to you. If this is the first post on TheTraumaTeacher that you are reading, stop what you are doing and rewind a few weeks to my “Support Groups for Kids?!” post before reading on. 

This is where a classroom style group is really going to start making sense. Kids this age are either just starting school and learning the routines or already have a few years experience under their belts knowing what to expect. No need to try and reinvent the wheel here. Something that you will want to keep in mind with this age group, though, is the short attention span. Elementary schools have recess and hands on project learning for a reason. Children this age aren’t going to learn well by sitting quietly listening or even conversation. They need to be engaged in interesting things and moving around once in a while.

For littles, I have found it best to switch gears often and plan a series of activities related to the main topic so the kiddos don’t have enough time to get bored. It is also a good idea to give them an opportunity to burn off any excess wiggly energy before starting discussion. As with every other post, I would like to remind that my background is mainly in working with children affected by violence and abuse but truly believe that this basic layout can work for children of any demographic in need of support programming.

DROP-OFF

This is going to be highly dependent on what resources and spaces you have available to you as well as any schedule you are having to abide by. The most successful drop-off scenario I have had thus far has been an outdoor sign-in procedure. Parents were asked to accompany their child to the drop-off and actively sign their child into the group. This has a lot of positive benefits. It gave myself the opportunity to speak briefly with the parent about how the week has been and get a feel for if the family was in need of any further services or referrals usually out of earshot of the already playing child. It is a great low-pressure atmosphere for any children new to the group as they can choose to join a group of already playing children to get acquainted or play on their own and observe while they adapt. It also serves the aforementioned purpose of getting out any overflowing wiggles before the group. This is by far my favorite approach as it gives kids time to just BE KIDS around other kids like them.

In times where weather has been an issue, a backup plan I have used has been the parent settling the child in for dinner at drop-off. If the group I was facilitating wasn’t having a meal, I would have related “starter” worksheets made up and printed set up in a way that the children could access on their own as they entered along with pencils, crayons, or any other tools needed for the assignment. Unfortunately a downside to this approach with this age is that you will likely have kiddos still learning to read and write and may be unable to complete it on their own (usually leading to bored and frustrated misbehavior). I mostly use this approach if I am short on extra adult hands and have a combined littles/bigs group and older kids are available to help the younger ones. This is not a perfect approach and definitely has its hang ups but it can do in a pinch. You are basically just aiming to keep your group engaged and entertained long enough that everyone can filter in (someone is ALWAYS late).

TOPIC DISCUSSION

Imagine you’re a teacher. Now open your eyes because that is exactly what you are. Or at least to them you are, which is a good thing. School teaches kids to respect, listen to, and trust their teachers so let them believe it. No need to confuse them with titles they’ve never heard of. If you’re group is violence or abuse related, this can also have an added benefit should there be a visitation agreement in place and the child decides to starting talking about their favorite teacher Ms. Jessie and how fun she is during those visitations with the other parent. “Advocate” may raise eyebrows and trigger further questioning.

Again the number and subject of your topics is going to be totally relative to your needs and resources. My experience usually meant I was working in unison with an adult support program so I mirrored the format of that group when deciding how long my program cycles would be. If they had an off week with some sort of special event planned, I would plan something on my end as well. My group started when theirs started and ended when theirs ended.

In the groups that I have facilitated, the best basis for themes that I have found thus far have revolved around character education. Most children have heard the theme words I use from their teachers, guidance counsellors, coaches, and likely even their parents at home. An observation I noticed in myself as well as in these kids AND their parents is that the theme words I chose were used so often and freely that when I asked anyone what the word actually meant, they weren’t able to tell me. Take a moment for yourself and try to write down definitions for a few of the following words WITHOUT using the word in the definition: Humility, Forgiveness, Self-Esteem, Respect, Responsibility. You may be tempted to write examples instead of a definition, but those still don’t explain WHAT those words MEAN. That is what I chose to teach. Every lesson started with that exact exercise as I called on raised hands to try and give me a real definition for that night’s topic word. We then followed it up with the actual dictionary definition. My goal was to break these big, seemingly simple but surprisingly complex concepts down to their bare bones. This way, I wasn’t telling these kids where they should be seeing examples of each topic, but giving them the ability to evaluate situations on their own. I followed the definition with a few pre-planned discussion questions to encourage participation and critical thinking. Some examples of these open ended questions might have been: How do we show humility? What are the benefits of being responsible? What does low self-esteem look like? Who does forgiveness affect? Questions like these, I’ve found, do a great job at allowing a child to reflect on their own experiences and interactions in a gentle and healthy way. It is worth mentioning that with this age, you’re going to want to watch the clock and try to keep this section short with a max time of 30 minutes or the wiggles will emerge.

DRIVE IT HOME

This will be the bulk of your group time so prepare accordingly. As mentioned before, kids this age are wiggly and short fused. They aren’t going to cooperate doing one activity for too long. You have a couple of options here. You can have preset activities for each topic (I would recommend 2-3 for each) or you can use a method that worked for me and create a pool of activities that you mix and match from each week. This is a great method if you are just starting out and have more topics than you have activities and can also allow your group to revisit and recycle some old favorites from earlier in the session. Again, keep them short and prepare multiple. If you see your kids losing interest, move on to the next one. You also want to make sure you’re taking the time to reflect with the kids on how the activity relates back to the night’s topic. Don’t just tell them, ask why they think you chose that game. A crowd favorite of mine has always been a game I called “blind man.” It was super flexible because it could be easily adapted to almost half of my curriculum and the kids always asked to play it over and over. Their favorite was when it was Ms. Jessie’s turn to wear the blindfold and they got to tell me where to walk. If you’re interested in this activity, let me know in the comments and I will make a future post with more information about it.

SEND OFF

Now is when things can get a bit tricky if you don’t have procedures in place. For a long time, I struggled with being at the mercy of another group and never knowing when my group was going to end. Some sessions we would get through everything on time and I would just be throwing coloring sheets at the kids trying to keep them entertained until they were picked up. Other sessions we would be halfway through our first activity and giving directions with parents suddenly starting to filter in half an hour earlier than they were expected causing my entire group to dissolve into chaos. Any point I had been trying to get across was effectively shattered. There is a better way, but it takes a lot of persistence and communication of expectation. What worked for me was to have a waiting area set up for parents outside of my teaching zone with already printed and displayed information about what was going on with kids programming. This would usually consist of the weekly newsletter covered the night’s lesson plan, a calendar of upcoming events that month, and an extra handout or brochure detailing further information or a local resource to help continue practicing the skill learned that night. Some handouts might have self-esteem building positive affirmations for the family to practice, a list of age appropriate books about the nightly topic, or a calendar of easy and free/cheap acts of kindness for the parents to consider trying. I would also have instructions in this area that group was still taking place and would be finished momentarily. 

Is everyone going to pay attention to this? Not at first and some maybe not ever. But with consistency, I hope you will have mostly success with this method. As I’ve said before, the best we can do is put the tools in a person’s hands and hope they use them. It isn’t our fault if they don’t, but it can't be said that we didn’t try and give it our all.

I feel it is important to remind anyone reading this far into the post that our job, tasks, and responsibilities are just as important, if not debatably more important than anyone else’s. Anyone that works with children has worked far too long in a world where no matter what role they were in or age they worked with, they were seen by an alarming chunk of the population as babysitters.  This just is not so. Especially if you are working in an advocacy field, but even those working across the board in child related fields, your work is important. We are the architects of the future. It is our job to shape, inform, and prepare the minds of the upcoming generation to run this world when we are gone. The people that we are shaping will still be around as we grow old as our doctors, nurses, lawyers, bankers, drivers, cashiers, cooks, etc. The skills and knowledge we teach them will affect their ability to carry out those jobs for sure, but the wisdom and morality that we bestow on them will affect how well and compassionately they treat us while they do.

As always, I hope that this information helps you in your journey creating your own children’s programming. If you have any questions about any of the information in this post, what me to elaborate on anything specific, or would even like to share your own experiences, I would love to interact with you in the comments. As always…

Good Luck & Keep Fighting,

Jess ♥️

Organizing a Support Group for Children BASICS

        In case you weren’t aware, April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month. Since this blog is still fairly new and children’s programming is my specialty, I thought the perfect way to recognize the occasion would be to lay out the framework of how I went about creating effective children’s support group programing. As you may have read in some of my other posts, I am a huge advocate of meaningful programming for kids that helps them process and heal from traumatic events in their lives. I truly believe that children are our future and are the keys to a more compassionate, better functioning society. If you haven't already, I invite you to check out my other post, Support Groups for Kids?!? and why I feel it is so important to cultivate and provide this type of programming.

        This post will be an introduction to the basics of what you’ll need to plan for in any support group catering to minors (0-17 years old). Before I begin, I want to be very clear that the information and experiences I share in this post come mostly from what I have personally learned in my time as a children’s advocate as well as other opportunities working with groups of children. I entered this field as a former nanny with very little direction and essentially had to figure it out on my own through research, trial, and error. The children I worked with specifically came from homes affected by domestic violence and in most cases, the child was a witness to this violence in some capacity. This format could definitely be adapted to work for children with other complicated or traumatic experiences, though I can only speak for its use with children coming from abuse. I also cannot guarantee that this exact format will work for everyone. That being said, the foundation pieces and tips I detail here have worked tremendously for my kids over the years. I can only hope that this information serves any child advocates out there, either new to the field or well seasoned looking for fresh material, in inspiring new ideas, techniques, or even just validation and encouragement. If you are in this field and feel like you’re fighting an uphill battle that no one else quite understands, I assure you that you are not alone in that fight. I can only pray that one day the world catches up to what we are already well aware of, children and families need more meaningful and tailored support.

    Gain Some Experience    

I have to say that I was a bit lucky when it comes to preparedness when I was offered the position as children’s advocate. As a teen, I had experience helping my mother teach children’s Sunday school classes as well as taking on some leadership responsibilities in church youth groups. I also realized in middle and high school that I learned information far better when I was attempting to explain concepts to another struggling student versus focusing on my own learning. These opportunities afforded me knowledge about teaching, engaging a child’s interest, and class management that served as starting points for my planning. If you are starting with little to no experience managing a group of children, I would HIGHLY encourage and urge you to start with gaining that experience. Offer to help a friend teach their Sunday school or VBS class. Volunteer to bring snacks to your nephew’s t-ball practices each week. Tag along as a chaperone on your baby cousin’s next school field trip. Whatever you do, make sure you observe the moments when children are learning and following directions. Make mental notes on what the experienced teachers and adult guardians do to rein a child’s attention and interest back in if they get distracted. Notice what gets them involved, asking questions, excited, distracted, or sets them off on a path of misbehavior (an inevitable occurrence). Having just a basic understanding of what it is to manage a group of children is probably the most important thing you will need starting out. 

    Know Your Audience    

This is going to come from a lot of different places. I would highly recommend doing a bit of reading on child development at different ages to get a better understanding of how they best learn. The average teenager may learn very well from a long group discussion, but a 5-6 year old will get the jitters and need to move after the first couple of minutes. Don’t even try that serious, deep discussion with a toddler. Knowing your audience is going to play a big role in deciding what angles to use when discussing topics and also how to talk about them. That same 5-6 year old will become much more engaged in conversation if the questions are printed on a ball being tossed around the room. While you are doing your research on average milestones and development, I would also encourage you to do some more targeted research depending on the purpose of the group. In my own case, I tried to read as much as I could on the effects of trauma, violence, sexual assault, and neglect on child development and how those factors affect learning ability, behavior, and all around health. I took great care in respecting each child’s boundaries, allowing them to participate and engage at whatever level they felt comfortable. When a child would tell a story relating to whatever topic we were discussing or question that had been asked, I allowed them a reasonable amount of time to be heard and tried to gently steer the story in a way so that they felt they expressed what they needed to process while trying not to allow another child’s traumatic memories to be triggered before they are ready to face them. I knew early on that the kid’s program I would be working on would take on more of a classroom or Sunday school vibe, as it is what children understand. I was more often referred to as “teacher” than “advocate” in that setting which helped the kid’s better understand how they should behave in group. 

    Focus On The Needs    

Okay, so you’ve spent time helping and observing various groups of children (and made sure that you actually LIKE being around and working with children! No lie, it’s not uncommon to change your mind once you’ve tried it. There is no shame in turning back.) and you’ve done some google searches on how they learn, but what are you actually going to TALK about?! This is also a bit of a know your audience section but is important enough to deserve it’s own header. This is where knowledge about your field comes in, as well as some creative brainstorming. Let me walk you through my own thought process at this phase.

Obviously, I wanted to avoid re-traumatizing children as much as humanly possible so I didn’t want to just walk in with a safety planning activity and talking about what to do when mommy is hitting and screaming at daddy on day one. In fact, I personally chose not to ever refer to violent events with a child unless they initiated the conversation one-on-one. We can discuss methods for how to navigate those conversations later because they do happen. As far as initiating them, however, I feel like that is usually better left to more advanced interventions and much more highly educated therapy professionals. The last thing you want to do is cause a child to regress in their healing process by unintentionally saying the wrong thing. This is my personal comfort-level and approach, the choice is totally your own.

With this in mind, I started thinking about what information I could talk about with these kids that would relate to what was happening in their homes and set them up for a much more peaceful future. My mind immediately went back to my own school days remembering classroom visits and lessons from the guidance counselor. You see, in school children are taught about being a good person and good citizen in very generalized terms, which is exactly what they are supposed to do and doesn’t single anyone out. What I realized was that if children were being taught about respect or trust, it may be assumed or generalized that all parents/family members are deserving of trust and all children have parents that respect one another. This becomes an issue when factors such as domestic violence and sexual assault from a family member are present in a home. So I landed on Character Education being the basis of what I would teach. This was a foundation I could build on for any age group and had a wide range of customization possibilities if a child or group needed help with something specific. (I once tailored a lesson on trust largely around the topic of information sharing as I had been made aware of multiple children in that particular session having boundary and oversharing tendencies. They were safe at that point and receiving interventions, but sharing every detail of their lives with their entire classes and people behind them in the grocery line.)

    Time and Resources    

I don’t know what format your groups will take. They may be stand-alone services or, like mine was, running simultaneously alongside a partnering parent/adult program. One way or another, you will likely have time restrictions you need to work by. When I began at my first agency, the adult program had a 12 week cycle and ran 1.5-2 hours per session. I designed my program to do the same as that was what I had available to me. Something else you will want to take into consideration is what will need to happen in that session timeframe. Does your group occur during traditional meal times? Are kids coming to you right after waking up or right after school when they will need to be burning off excess energy before being able to concentrate? How many parts will there be to your lesson and how long can you do each one? What are your age groups and what are they able to do? Do you have a plan for if the adult program runs overtime or worse, gets done early? What materials, technology, and space size do you have access to us for your teaching? Most of this will be much easier to work out in later posts when we take specific age groups, but go ahead and start thinking about solutions that would work for your own group.

    Before and After Windows    

This one changed for me with nearly every program rotation, sometimes multiple times during that rotation. You have a lot of options. The thing you will come to find out about kids is that they are HIGHLY distractible. The smallest things will steal their attention and then its a 50/50 chance of reining them back in. Have a plan for those first 10-15 minutes when kids are still filtering in. The option that seemed to work best for my usually mixed age group was doing sign in on the playground on-site. I required parents to physically bring their children to the playground, sign them in on a roster sheet, and it allowed me to get a moment with the parent out of kiddo’s earshot to get a brief update and offer quick resource referral ideas. Some options I tried before were to have parents settle their own kids at the dinner table first thing (still used this for inclimate weather), free play in the playroom/classroom area, pre-lesson worksheets, the sit-and-wait (do not recommend), and in the very beginning cartoons/tv. You also want to establish expectations with parents (and partnering adult group staff) routines for after group. For a long time, I would talk as fast as I could and just be at the mercy of when the adult group finished. I was young and naïve. Parents would be released from their group and walk into my classroom ready and expecting to leave immediately if I was still working with them or not. In my later years doing groups, I found my voice. I communicated with parents where they could wait if our group was still in progress and worked with other staff members to help communicate this when the parents returned. I also made a habit of keeping the classroom door shut with a printed sign on it. I want to encourage you to set these boundaries and expectations for the sake of the kids you serve. Many will try to convince you that you’re just daycare and at everyone else’s mercy. Know your position and job responsibilities, find your voice, and advocate for your services.

    Take Home    

You may or may not choose to do this. I am very much the pamphlet, newsletter, and literature girl. I like to put information into people’s hands if for no other reason so that they can’t claim they didn’t know something. The lessons you will be teaching these kids are directly related to their home life, so I feel it is super important to send material and information home (if it is safe to do so) for parents to continue working on. Will they read it? Possibly. Will they do what you recommend? Maybe. Will it get thrown in the trash? Almost certainly. But making the effort means you have done your absolute best to equip this family for what lies ahead and that is all that we can do. As a bonus, you can prepare the family for the next week’s lesson, give simple updates about cancellations or breaks, and include a calendar of upcoming events. The last lesson of my group cycle always included a really messy paint craft, so I utilized my weekly newsletter to remind parents to send playclothes.

I know that this was an extremely long post but I hope that it gives you some ideas and angles to think about in your own group and program development journey. I plan to do more specific posts in the near future on planning groups for specific ages so please keep an eye out for those. I also have plans to post topic ideas with suggestions for teaching and tailoring, activity and game directions, and more. If there is anything you want to see or have questions about, please reach out in the comments! The sole reason I am doing this is to compile everything I know about child advocacy in one place so new advocates won’t have to struggle teaching themselves. I’m here to help!

Good Luck & Keep Fighting,

Jess ♥️