Building Your Resource Network

     Welcome to the world of advocacy! You’ve submitted your resume, aced the interview process, been welcomed in by a new employer and a hardworking team of do-gooders just trying to make the world a better place, and now you’re sitting at the desk you’ve been assigned staring at a blank computer screen begging your office phone not to ring. Don’t worry, we’ve all been there. We have all been the “new kid” in the office that barely knows what is going on, asks questions that the rest of the staff are able to answer without even thinking, and felt that surge of nervous energy when duty calls. I like to think that everyone still gets those jolts once in a while. I certainly do. Just like the clients we work with, we are all human and we don’t always have all of the answers. In fact, we never will. If we were able to magically conjure new homes, immune systems, jobs, cures, families, cars, or literally anything else our clients needed and hand them over on a silver platter neatly tied up with a bow, we would be miracle workers. But that isn’t how the world works. Resources come and go every day and it is absolutely impossible to keep up with what is out there. Even ten years in, you will learn about new programs and services around your area and find that ones you’ve used for years have unfortunately gone away. It is all a part of the job. Over time, you will be able to sit in front of a client and be able to at least start to make a plan with them for how to move forward from whatever life has thrown their way. Some of the information will seemingly find you, some of it you will hear about from one place or another, and some of it you will have to do the legwork to find yourself. I am going to give you a few ideas of where and how to find information on resources in your area as well as some critical and optional resources you should always be keeping an ear out for.

    Where?    

Within Your Agency

The first place you should absolutely start looking for resources is right outside your office door! In some work environments, it may be heavily discouraged to spend too much time “chit-chatting” at someone else’s desk or in their office. Not my idea of keeping morale up, but that is none of my business. However in the world of advocacy, collaboration is key. This is not a competition and we do not get paid on commission. There is no prize for knowing more resources than the girl in the next office over and it should never feel that way. When an advocate doesn’t have a client in their office or a call coming across their phone, they should absolutely be sharing ideas, resources, and hang-ups with their co-workers. There have been so many times that I have actually sat in with another advocate while they worked with a client and took mental notes on how they handled the case and what resources they sent them to. In fact, part of your induction into an agency should be just that - job shadowing and asking questions. If you are managing a case with struggles outside of your working knowledge, don’t hesitate to walk over to another advocate’s office and run the situation by them. The majority of skills and knowledge we attain in this field is learned through monkey see, monkey do. Not only is spending time in your coworker’s office beneficial to learning resources, but it helps to vent frustrations as well without breaking confidentiality. Just don’t overstay your welcome and make sure your work is up -to-date!

Archives

As I’ve mentioned a few times before, when I started as a children’s advocate I came into a pretty much clean slate. Though there was really nothing in place program-wise, there was a lot of paperwork left behind compiled by other employees through the years who dealt with the children’s programs of old. Mind you, most of the pamphlets and workbooks dated back to the 80s and 90s, it gave me a great place to start. It will take a lot of time, but if your agency has old paperwork, pamphlets, literature, or anything else printed by third parties it is worth it to keep your laptop/tablet/phone with you while you clean to see if some of those organizations are still operating. If they are, most places are happy to speak with you about current services if you reach out by phone and you may even be able to visit their local branch to pick up more recent literature (ALWAYS HAVE LITERATURE). Cleaning out the stockroom doesn’t sound so bad now, does it….. Yeah, ok. It still is, but you get what I’m saying.

Colleagues

Let me first start off by saying I have only recently begun using this word because it sounds so grown-up and I also have only recently realized that I even HAVE colleagues now. I just pray that I am using it right. Honestly, if you haven’t figured it out by now I am terrible at being an adult and often forget that I even am one. So yeah, there's that.

After a while of referring clients and patients to different resources, you will begin to develop professional relationships with people providing the services you refer to. Before you even realize it, you will call to confirm a therapy form has successfully processed and end up chatting with Cheryl, the patient coordinator, about how excited you are that the waiting list for housing is opening back up and checking to make sure that Cheryl’s dog was feeling better since she took it to the vet last time you both talked and comparing the best natural dog foods for different issues and how nice the weather has been this week which is perfect because Cheryl received a flyer that there are scholarships available for youth softball this year but it looks like it’s going to get cold again the weekend but that’s okay because your plans were just to curl up on the couch with Netflix and a mug of hot tea anyway……… See where I’m going? When you continually work with the same people over and over, you create a bond with them. This bond leads to longer conversations which tends to lead to information about other agencies and services they work with or have heard about. If you and your colleague from the hospital are talking and you mention how hard of a time you’ve been having connecting with low-cost clinics in the area catering to kids, your colleague very well may have some insider knowledge from within the medical field of a new clinic opening up nearby or perhaps be able to connect you with a friend of theirs in pediatrics. I highly encourage you to communicate with your resources like the people that they are because we are all really just trying to create a better world. It may even get you invited to take part in local collaborative groups and efforts, which leads me to my next suggestion..

Committees and Collaborative Efforts

Typically you have to know somebody that knows somebody to even hear about these groups, much less get an invite to attend. It isn’t intended to be that way and I assure you that most groups would really prefer more people knew about their efforts but most of these committees are small and serve a targeted audience. Once you have established your presence and started relationships with your small pool of resources, you may begin to hear about committees made up of employees from other agencies working toward your same goal. GO TO THESE MEETINGS! Find out when they are. Find out where they are held. Go to Dollar tree, pick up a little $1 notebook, and march yourself into that meeting taking down names, agencies, services, and any other information you can grab. Take the pamphlets and the flyers. This, ladies and gentlemen, is networking. This has been the absolute best place thus far that I have been able to compile resources and actually meet the people providing the services. Also, make sure to take your business card so you can tell others what you are doing as well. I have met daycare organizers, special needs medical providers, child therapists, museum program coordinators, farmers, artists, yoga teachers, gardeners, and so many other wonderful and out of the box resources through these meetings. I have also been invited to attend trainings through colleagues I have met through committees that I never would have known about otherwise because they weren’t directly tied to my field. In fact, I even was invited to give a training to early educators on the subject of domestic violence and its effect on children because of these connections. Networking is going to play a massive role in rounding out your resource library to make sure you’ve covered bases you didn’t even know were going to come up. Network. Just do it. You’ll thank me later.

Good Ole Google

When it’s the eleventh hour and you’ve still not been able to find that resource your client needs so desperately, turn to the tried and true. There is a lot to be said about opening your favorite search engine and typing in exactly what you need. Really, all you need to put in is the type of resource you’re looking for and your zip code or town name for a plethora of options to come up. Then just pick up the phone and call for more info. Most agencies have all of their information online including referral forms, but it is handy to call ahead and introduce yourself to verify that they will, in fact, accept a referral from you. I’ve found every one that I have worked with has appreciated the intro call and even invited me to their agency to tell me more about their programs. If you are working with an agency that is overseen by a larger umbrella-type organization such as a coalition or network, look them up too. I have reached out to my local state’s director of child advocacy several times to learn about resources and funding available as well as been connected to other professionals as well.

    What to look for?    

Common Resources

Clinics - Food Banks - Churches - Clothing Closets - Thrift Stores - Medical Offices - Lawyers - Therapists - Daycares - Schools - Tutoring - Housing/Landlords - Job Recruiters - Government Agencies

Uncommon (but helpful) Resources

Museums - Aquariums - Farms - Local Artists - Yoga and Health Instructors - Movie Theaters - School Groups - Volunteer Groups - Day Camps - Parks&Rec - Banks - Law Enforcement Officers - Firemen - Any First Responder - Local Business Owners - Libraries

    I truly hope that this helps you on your journey to establishing your network in the wonderful world of advocacy. If there is anything else I can help with, please don't hesitate to reach out. I would also love to hear on the comment section any unique ways you have come across new resources or even out-of-the-box resources you use in your own work. Can't wait to hear from you!

Good Luck and Keep Fighting!

♥️ Jess

Tips and Ideas for Creating Effective Learning Spaces

        I get the feeling that every person working in education either absolutely loves or devastatingly loathes decorating and arranging their learning spaces. I think we can all recall teachers from school and other programs we were involved in growing up that fit into one of those two categories. Every teacher I ever had either had a classroom decked out with rugs and bean bag chairs fit to be featured on MTV Cribs: Classroom Edition or one that was completely bare aside from rusty desks and that one school-issued motivational poster from the 1970s. I also think you can probably figure out which of these two that I classify as with very little effort - I LOVE IT! In my opinion, there is no better feeling than creating an effective system and actually being able to watch it function successfully in real time. Even without sparkly or colorful do-dads sitting around, personalizing the space where you teach and work with children in whatever capacity that is can and does have a major impact on how effectively you’re able to do that work. All it takes is a couple of seconds with your back turned for a quiet, well-mannered group of kids to turn into a mosh pit of slung toys and eardrum rupturing shrieks of maniacal laughter. The last thing you want is to get caught with your back turned for too long because you can’t find that specific book for story time.

For the sake of organizing this post as well as my own thoughts, I am going to break down the concept of a learning space into three zones: reflective learning, cooperative learning, and explorative learning (DISCLAIMER: honestly these are categories I made up for my own room planning so please don’t think any of this is actually some kind of official psychological terminology). You may have one of each or even a few of each of these zones in your space and when organized effectively, they can help to manage even the rowdiest groups. If you have ever been in a school, daycare classroom, youth center, or any other space typically inhabited by children I am sure you have noticed these zones sectioned off from one another without even realizing it. Each has its own benefits to child development and serves a purpose in the space as a whole in cultivating a manageable environment. Lacking or poorly executing even one of them, in my experience, tends to throw off the whole ecosystem.

    Reflective Learning Zone    

Reflective learning, or quiet learning, is learning that occurs while reading, listening, creating, or even just sitting quietly getting lost in your own thoughts. This kind of learning requires little to no movement and a calm, focused atmosphere. This kind of space is important because it is where a child can go to take a break for a while, practice self-care, and practice slower, more meaningful thinking. Have you ever sat quietly next to a child while drawing or watching clouds and they suddenly ask you the most random, off-the-wall question having nothing to do with anything in your general vicinity? That’s reflective learning at work as those little mental gears grind.

Reflective learning spaces are for usually independent play and self-led activities. You want to keep these spaces small and sectioned off to discourage rowdy or “big” play. Typically with kids, their mind wanders as far as they can see, so if you keep a space small they will almost always keep their play small as well. You can effectively section off a reflective learning space with sturdy, bottom-heavy shelving (harder to tip over and move), storage benches full of stuffed “reading buddies”, play tables, and comfy seating. My favorite seating choice for these areas are small, colorful beanbag chairs, but I only recommend using them if you are working in a smaller room because kids can get a little carried away on them and need to be watched closely. Great activity options for this type of space would be age-appropriate books, puppets, small “busy” boxes, puzzles, and other sit-and-play options. If you are working with older ages, this can be a great space away from busier areas to do things like boardgames and art projects. This space is also ideal when you’re working with teenies as there is less movement or chances of being kicked or stepped on.

I always considered my group and teaching spaces to be reflective learning areas as well and treated them as such. Kiddos learned early on that when we sat at the group table, they were expected to be quiet, polite, and use their classroom skills. If I felt a group was capable enough, I would also provide small fidgeting toys to keep their hands busy during discussion and keep their ears focused. Posters, die-cut words, and various other classroom decor can be a great addition to reflective learning areas as well for quiet reminders and encouragement. Will children talk and interact in these areas? Absolutely! And they should. It is ok to allow meaningful conversation in these areas, it just isn't a space for zooming cars and jumping jacks. 

    Cooperative Learning Zones    

Cooperative learning is like your middle ground when it comes to play areas. This is the zone where there is definitely going to be movement and talking, but it still isn’t full on running and jumping. A good example of this is when parents and teachers have kids using their “inside” voices and manners. Cooperative learning is exactly what it sounds like, children cooperatively working and playing together. This zone is so incredibly important because it is where children of all ages develop their social emotional skills. Sharing, taking turns, communicating thoughts and feelings, recognising social cues, and more are just the beginning of what is learned in these areas. The difference in this space, versus a more explorative learning space that we will talk about next, is it can be much more easily monitored. This is a great space to learn and practice communication with close supervision and assistance from an adult, ie: you the advocate.

When you are planning out your cooperative learning spaces, think about the type of play and interactions you want here. The space is going to be just a bit larger than what was allotted for reflective learning as children will likely need to move around with their cars and block building, however you definitely want some kind of containment or the entirety of your room will suddenly become a NASCAR speedway or a colossal mess because the child couldn't maintain focus. What has worked best for me has been using fun, colorful, or themed rugs to visually limit the space and teach kiddos to keep the toys ON the rug. My favorite theme is some type of town or city rug with lots of roads and buildings printed on them for little hands to trace with automobile toys. I also highly recommend a good organization system in this space with fun clipart or photo labels to help teach kids to put things back once they are done. Cheap plastic bins form the dollar store labelled with packing tape and printed labels are a great option for organization and come in a lot of fun colors. Again, this space should have visual barriers and limitations to keep play reasonably small, but within that area should be a good bit of floor space for multiple kids to play together.

As mentioned before, cars and other automobile toys are great in an area like this. I would recommend smaller toys no bigger than a child’s hand. If you try to incorporate larger things like big firetrucks and tractor trailers, I can almost assure you that kiddos will scope out a larger area of floor to sling them clear across the room. Save the bigger versions for your outdoor “explorative” areas. Other great options for these areas are building blocks, oversized puzzles, large felt boards, collaborative games, houses and neighborhoods, inclusive dolls for use in houses and neighborhoods, dress up clothes, pretend play toys (kitchen, shopping, parenting toys), and any other “smaller space” group play activity. This is also a great space for collaborative and group art projects with the supervision of an adult. You want to keep in mind what ages will have access to this space and plan accordingly. Make sure outlets are safely covered, playthings are often gone through to remove broken pieces, small swallow-able toys are kept up or better yet out of the space altogether, and all ages can safely learn in the space.

    Explorative Learning Zones    

Explorative learning is your biggest form of play. This is running, jumping, climbing, rolling, cartwheels, and exercising just how loud your voice can go. Unless you are working out of a huge facility with indoor jungle gyms and trampolines, it is fair to assume that this form of learning will likely take place in an outdoor space. This learning can get loud, fast, and messy, all of which are totally acceptable and encouraged with the understanding that your kiddos are also practicing kindness and respect. This is the type of area where kiddos really get to test out their abilities physically, mentally, and emotionally. This space is where children can safely face fears and limitations, use up stored energy, act silly, and be spontaneous. This is also a space where children are really put to the test on things like how they treat others and taking turns without being told. There should absolutely always be an adult present when children are utilizing an explorative learning space, but this space is significantly larger than the other two spaces and an adult cannot reasonably (and shouldn’t) hover over every conversation and interaction. While a space should be arranged in a way that the supervising adult easily has eyes on everything happening, this space should provide an opportunity for children to learn to be trustworthy and independently good people. 

Children should have plenty of opportunities to explore in this environment, including their own abilities, emotions, senses, communication, and information about the world around them. There should be a vast collection of things to see, hear, feel, smell, touch, and do. I personally like the idea of incorporating some of the first two learning zones into exploration as well to really round a space out. Where you may have houses, dolls, and puppets provided for an indoor cooperative space, you might provide life-sized playhouses and buildings in your explorative space. Arts and crafts can be translated into your exploration space through sidewalk chalk, sensory tables, and gardening. If you are creating a space used in trauma-informed play, empowering stepping stones, a sensory walking path, or a labyrinth can be a great addition for reflective “big” play. Other explorative and “big” play ideas you might want to consider incorporating might be climbing structures, large play equipment, sitting areas, a small performance/teaching “amphitheater”, seating for outdoor picnics, projects, resting (for both adults and kiddos), pull-up bars and other exercise equipment, gardens with accents like fairy houses and toy car paths, riding toy paths, and storage for lots of outdoor playthings like balls, jump ropes, and hula hoops.

I hope that this post has been helpful in planning your own learning and teaching spaces. I purposefully didn’t include any photos as I don’t have any personal ones to share (a downside to predominantly working in confidencial spaces). If you have a learning space you would like to show off, I would love to add your photos to this post in its correct category and of course give credit where credit is due. Otherwise, please feel free to check out my Learning Space Inspiration Board on Pinterest for lots of ideas linked to the original posters. Don’t hesitate to comment or contact me with any questions, comments, or things you might like to know more about or elaborate on. Until next time…

Good Luck & Keep Fighting,

Jess ♥️

Tell-Me-Toss Game

        Let me first start off by saying that this is totally not an original idea. I did not come up with this in any way, shape, or form. I will gladly post some of my favorite blogs and sites that have utilized this idea on my Littles and Bigs Group Pinterest boards. If you haven’t yet, please check out The Trauma Teacher on Pinterest where I am always updating ideas for residential and support programs, learning spaces, and more!

Tell Me Toss or Tell Me Dice, depending on what you use or have on hand at the time, is an awesome game to keep in your back pocket should you need to fill a time gap. Every group I have ever played this game with has enjoyed it and the customization options are really limitless. If your group is old enough to stand, toss a ball, roll dice, follow directions, and read or comprehend simple pictures, this activity can absolutely work for you. What makes it fun is the mystery of not knowing what you will land on and what you will have to do. I have made adjustments to this game for nearly every lesson I’ve ever taught and it has fit beautifully into every single one. 

The first time I can remember encountering this activity was at a training as an icebreaker game. It was upon my return that I immediately went to work figuring out how to incorporate it into my group lessons. There isn’t much set up if you keep the right tools on hand so even if you have a full night of activities planned, you can still pull this one out should you finish everything else up early or just need to change gears. You can go online and buy professionally printed dice and balls but I have never had the funding nor saw the purpose when making your own keeps things so much more flexible. If you see that purchasing a printed version is best suited for your program, then more power to you. I have personally used a printed dice foldables (provided in this post!) and a small donated bounce ball for this game. Simply write the questions or actions you want to use on either one in sharpie. For a more durable dice option, you can check your local Dollar Tree education section to see if they have large dry erase play dice. I have been lucky enough to find them a few times. Another option is to use a cube shaped cardboard box. There is really no limit to what can be used to make this game work as long as it is light and not breakable. Regular dice could even be used with a numbered list! (Any fellow nerdy advocates could incorporate their D20 collection)

This can be just as much a social experiment as a fun game for the kids. I highly recommend that you pay close attention to make sure everyone is getting a turn. If you do notice over time that one or two people are consistently being left out of the game, stop everything immediately and address it. This game is just as much about sharing and inclusion as it is about teaching whatever lesson you have revolved it around. This game should never EVER be allowed to be used as means for bullying. Everyone has to get a turn, both in catching the ball or receiving whatever praise or nice comments are requested on a turn.

The game is simple. If you are using a ball, you toss to one person and whatever command their thumb lands on is what they are supposed to do. The command can be complimenting someone else in the circle, telling information about themselves, giving an example of a topic, or any number of other things. Then the player chooses another person to toss to. If you are using a die, it is the same idea but they roll the die on the floor and then hand off to another person after they’re done their command. At the end of the post, you will find a much more detailed instruction card for how to play as well as photos and links to others who have used this activity with their classes or groups. If you like this activity and opt to use it in your own advocacy, I would love to hear about it. Comment down below and tell me how it went with a picture of what you used to play!

    As always, I hope you have a blast with this activity and thank you for all that you do in helping children heal. You are amazing and an inspiration, don’t ever forget it!

Good Luck and Keep Fighting,

♥️Jess

 

Organizing a Support Group for BIGS - Ages 9+ years

 

    If this is the first post on TheTraumaTeacher that you are reading, stop what you are doing and rewind a few weeks to my “Support Groups for Kids?!” post before reading on. 

    Ahhh, the older middle/high school group. You would hope that this group might be a little easier and in some ways it is. By this age, your kids have developed a bit more of an ability to sit and chat as well as a more mature understanding of the world. They are getting their fill of their own life stresses with friend drama, relationship drama, standardized testing that will actually affect their future. You are honestly going to have some pretty awesome discussions with this group, some during which you may even be enlightened yourself. But in this day in age and all of the advances and information we have available to us, there is likely to be some lofty expectations coming your way. This group may enjoy a longer chit chat period, but you’re gonna have to wow them to get them truly engaged. Honestly, it is still an age I am honing my own skills on. Knowledge of the day’s pop culture will always play to your favor and any effort to include technology into this group will never go unnoticed. You just aren’t going to get away with presenting this group with coloring pages and playdoh….. At least, not if you don’t present them appropriately. You’re going to have to get creative.

As with the other posts, you may choose to separate your ages different from how I have done mine. This has been solely based on my needs and resources as an advocate. You can only have as many groups as you’re able to have supervision for. I have done all ages working in one group and I have done three separate groups with age appropriate material. I’ve even had to switch back and forth each week between formats simply because there weren’t enough hands on deck from week to week. This post specifically may be something you choose to re-work because 9-18 years old is a HUGE range to accommodate at once. I get that. I’ve thought that. I feel it in the depth of my soul. But in a pinch, this can be an option that can almost actually work.

DROP-OFF

This can be a much more laid back sign-in situation. I highly recommend with any and all age groups to establish an actual “sign-in” procedure. If you’re operating under any kind of non-profit or charity organization receiving grant funding to provide your services, you will likely be expected to produce regular reports on the number of services you are providing and the number of clients you are providing them for during a period. Having a log sheet where each child is signed in on arrival can assist with completing these reports. These logs can also assist with tracking each child’s progress if you’re planning a “graduation” style session end as well as serve as an added safety measure and roster should an emergency arise (sudden flashback to teachers calling roster during school fire drills).

At this age, kids and teens have reached a point that they -should- be able to keep track of a notebook or packet long term. It could be an option to establish a session-long journal keeping project that they either bring with them to group each week or leave with you from week to week. This then could be tied into the “starter” work suggestion from our littles group planning. At this age, appropriate starter work could be a writing prompt, a short, creative writing or art project, puzzles or critical thinking activities, or even a more advanced pre-printed worksheet. This is, of course, simply one idea among lots of possibilities. You may even opt to skip an opening assignment all together and just let the kids mingle. You may choose to have an optional assignment available but not required for those who are less social than others. You also may have ideas that I’ve yet to imagine. If that is the case, I would love to hear below in the comments what you’ve tried or are thinking of trying. We are all in this together.

TOPIC DISCUSSION

Before jumping into the meat of what you’ll talk about with this age, I want to take a moment and discuss the importance of atmosphere and setting the stage for optimal discussion. I’ve mentioned before that luckily with this age group, you’re going to be able to enjoy much longer attention spans which is true. However, at this age the classroom setting and style is really starting to get old. They’ve been in school a while, their lives mostly revolve around either doing work in school or studying and doing work at home. They are always at tables and desks doing work. Now, there is nothing wrong with opting for a class setting for this group. They will understand it and hopefully meet behavioral and participation expectations you have of them. I would, however, encourage you to consider another angle that I feel has more potential for allowing adolescent aged kids to open up more freely: the casual lounge/coffee shop approach. Now this is, like everything else, going to be totally dependent on what spaces and resources you have available to you, but in my personal experience I have had much more in depth and personal conversations with older kids while relaxing in bean bag chairs and sofas than sitting at desks. 

Now back to the discussion topics. The beauty of the curriculum I created and used in my time working with children was that it was so adaptable and customizable. If you read my last post on Organizing Support Programming for LITTLES, you know that my favorite go-to for lesson topics and inspiration is basic character education concepts. Breaking these character words down to the bare bones with dictionary definitions and simple reflective questions set the stage for unlimited possibilities for adaption. Will you choose this route for your curriculum? Maybe not and that is ok. You may choose to have different plans for every group level you end up facilitating. As long as you are relating to what that age group is struggling with and going through in their day today life, you’re golden. If you don’t know what they’re struggling with, don’t hesitate to ask them. I have been known to sit down with my Bigs group and simply ask what they need to talk about, what was hard about the day, and what they have had on their mind. At this age, talking it out is totally appropriate. I would recommend though if you’re doing 9+ to preface those questions with the fact that it is a large age group and advise the older ones to censor what they say to a roughly PG-13 level. This can be a great experience for those younger Bigs that are only starting to hear gossip about dating and drama to learn how to process and deal with those situations before entering the deep end of their teen years.

Finally, like I said before, you’re gonna want to consider wowing them and getting creative. Crayons and playdoh aren’t going to cut it unless used right. You may want to brush up on your computer skills or find websites that easily help you accomplish awesome results. This age group are going to appreciate popular memes and videos, TikTok, group computer games projected onto the wall like jeopardy or family feud. Think of ways you can bring what you want to teach into our current technological age. Don’t have the resources? It happens. I didn’t either but even something as simple as working memes, emojis, and text speech into your activities are something your group will appreciate.

DRIVE IT HOME

A lot of your time with this group is going to be spent on discussion. They are really going to need to talk things out and process the emotions that they need to deal with. This doesn’t mean that this group doesn’t want and need to have fun and blow off steam. I mentioned a few technology-centric ideas in the last section, but you don't have to be a computer programmer if. You simply don’t have access to those tools. Competition and art activities can be a great way to engage this age and get them smiling and having fun. For perseverance, I had my groups engage in a challenge I caught wind of on social media building paper towers with only five sheets of paper. I set a timer, split the group into teams, and the group with the tallest freestanding tower by the time the tower went off got an extra reach into my “goodie” prize bag. Mixed medium self portraits, word art, and other competitive team activities are wonderful options that may interest a group of this age. Don’t forget to throw in some sessions with “just for fun” activities too. If you have the outdoor space this group would thoroughly enjoy balloon dart painting, tie dye, or any other large scale abstract project that would allow for expression and creativity to flow freely. This type of activity works perfectly with a session about self-esteem and self-care.

SEND OFF

Just like with every other group, you want to be able to say that you have provided every tool and bit of information that you possibly could for these skills to be practiced through the rest of the week. I would encourage you to inform the parents of your group about what you work. On each week and the instructions for any activities you do so that they might be recreated at home if they choose to do so. Even better would be to, just like with the littles group, send additional handouts and brochures with tips and information to support families with adolescents and teens. Lists of relatable movies, books, podcasts, blogs, YouTube videos, and community resources are good options.

The great thing about this age is that you can also give them optional at home work. The Random Acts of Kindness calendar I mentioned in a previous post, you can give this directly to your Big kids to do on their own. I actually have opted to give my kids blank calendars with a list of suggested “RAOK” and let them fill in and check them off on their own. Anyone that could complete a full week of random kindnesses would get some sort of special prize the next week. Make sure your suggestions are little to no cost and easily done on their own. I’ve suggested cleaning out toys or clothes they can't wear to donate, making and sending Get Well Soon notes, completing chores around the house without being asked, offering to help a friend study for a big test. Kindness doesn’t have to cost.

This can be a really fun and rewarding group to work with. Adolescents, teens, and tweens have granted me some of the best group conversations that I can remember. This is an age where you can have really gritty conversations about real life problems. I hope that this helps in your journey of program development for the older aged kiddos in your life. If I missed anything, you have questions, or would like to share your own experiences for others to learn from just as I am, please don’t hesitate to interact in the comments. I would love the hear and see what has worked for you and yours.

Also, as I mention in each post, my experience comes mostly from a background mostly in work with abuse and violence victims. Every example I have given has been used in that context, however I do truly believe that the tips and basic ideas behind this format. Could work for children and adolescents of any demographic. If you are working to develop support programming for minors. with other backgrounds and needs, reach out! I would love to collaborate and throw around ideas that could help you in that process and journey. 

I hope that this special Child Abuse Awareness Month series has been an inspiration to someone. Stay tuned for new posts every Saturday with more tips, tricks, experiences, and even lesson plan inspiration for those in the advocacy field. If there is anything specific you would like for me to cover or share, please reach out. Until then...

Good Luck & Keep Fighting,

Jess ♥️

Organizing a Support Group for LITTLES - Ages 4-9 years

    Welcome to the elementary level group. Bear in mind that your age ranges don’t have to match mine exactly. Honestly I just made an educated guess on where to draw the line and ran with it. It is all going to depend on your needs and the resources you have available to you. If this is the first post on TheTraumaTeacher that you are reading, stop what you are doing and rewind a few weeks to my “Support Groups for Kids?!” post before reading on. 

This is where a classroom style group is really going to start making sense. Kids this age are either just starting school and learning the routines or already have a few years experience under their belts knowing what to expect. No need to try and reinvent the wheel here. Something that you will want to keep in mind with this age group, though, is the short attention span. Elementary schools have recess and hands on project learning for a reason. Children this age aren’t going to learn well by sitting quietly listening or even conversation. They need to be engaged in interesting things and moving around once in a while.

For littles, I have found it best to switch gears often and plan a series of activities related to the main topic so the kiddos don’t have enough time to get bored. It is also a good idea to give them an opportunity to burn off any excess wiggly energy before starting discussion. As with every other post, I would like to remind that my background is mainly in working with children affected by violence and abuse but truly believe that this basic layout can work for children of any demographic in need of support programming.

DROP-OFF

This is going to be highly dependent on what resources and spaces you have available to you as well as any schedule you are having to abide by. The most successful drop-off scenario I have had thus far has been an outdoor sign-in procedure. Parents were asked to accompany their child to the drop-off and actively sign their child into the group. This has a lot of positive benefits. It gave myself the opportunity to speak briefly with the parent about how the week has been and get a feel for if the family was in need of any further services or referrals usually out of earshot of the already playing child. It is a great low-pressure atmosphere for any children new to the group as they can choose to join a group of already playing children to get acquainted or play on their own and observe while they adapt. It also serves the aforementioned purpose of getting out any overflowing wiggles before the group. This is by far my favorite approach as it gives kids time to just BE KIDS around other kids like them.

In times where weather has been an issue, a backup plan I have used has been the parent settling the child in for dinner at drop-off. If the group I was facilitating wasn’t having a meal, I would have related “starter” worksheets made up and printed set up in a way that the children could access on their own as they entered along with pencils, crayons, or any other tools needed for the assignment. Unfortunately a downside to this approach with this age is that you will likely have kiddos still learning to read and write and may be unable to complete it on their own (usually leading to bored and frustrated misbehavior). I mostly use this approach if I am short on extra adult hands and have a combined littles/bigs group and older kids are available to help the younger ones. This is not a perfect approach and definitely has its hang ups but it can do in a pinch. You are basically just aiming to keep your group engaged and entertained long enough that everyone can filter in (someone is ALWAYS late).

TOPIC DISCUSSION

Imagine you’re a teacher. Now open your eyes because that is exactly what you are. Or at least to them you are, which is a good thing. School teaches kids to respect, listen to, and trust their teachers so let them believe it. No need to confuse them with titles they’ve never heard of. If you’re group is violence or abuse related, this can also have an added benefit should there be a visitation agreement in place and the child decides to starting talking about their favorite teacher Ms. Jessie and how fun she is during those visitations with the other parent. “Advocate” may raise eyebrows and trigger further questioning.

Again the number and subject of your topics is going to be totally relative to your needs and resources. My experience usually meant I was working in unison with an adult support program so I mirrored the format of that group when deciding how long my program cycles would be. If they had an off week with some sort of special event planned, I would plan something on my end as well. My group started when theirs started and ended when theirs ended.

In the groups that I have facilitated, the best basis for themes that I have found thus far have revolved around character education. Most children have heard the theme words I use from their teachers, guidance counsellors, coaches, and likely even their parents at home. An observation I noticed in myself as well as in these kids AND their parents is that the theme words I chose were used so often and freely that when I asked anyone what the word actually meant, they weren’t able to tell me. Take a moment for yourself and try to write down definitions for a few of the following words WITHOUT using the word in the definition: Humility, Forgiveness, Self-Esteem, Respect, Responsibility. You may be tempted to write examples instead of a definition, but those still don’t explain WHAT those words MEAN. That is what I chose to teach. Every lesson started with that exact exercise as I called on raised hands to try and give me a real definition for that night’s topic word. We then followed it up with the actual dictionary definition. My goal was to break these big, seemingly simple but surprisingly complex concepts down to their bare bones. This way, I wasn’t telling these kids where they should be seeing examples of each topic, but giving them the ability to evaluate situations on their own. I followed the definition with a few pre-planned discussion questions to encourage participation and critical thinking. Some examples of these open ended questions might have been: How do we show humility? What are the benefits of being responsible? What does low self-esteem look like? Who does forgiveness affect? Questions like these, I’ve found, do a great job at allowing a child to reflect on their own experiences and interactions in a gentle and healthy way. It is worth mentioning that with this age, you’re going to want to watch the clock and try to keep this section short with a max time of 30 minutes or the wiggles will emerge.

DRIVE IT HOME

This will be the bulk of your group time so prepare accordingly. As mentioned before, kids this age are wiggly and short fused. They aren’t going to cooperate doing one activity for too long. You have a couple of options here. You can have preset activities for each topic (I would recommend 2-3 for each) or you can use a method that worked for me and create a pool of activities that you mix and match from each week. This is a great method if you are just starting out and have more topics than you have activities and can also allow your group to revisit and recycle some old favorites from earlier in the session. Again, keep them short and prepare multiple. If you see your kids losing interest, move on to the next one. You also want to make sure you’re taking the time to reflect with the kids on how the activity relates back to the night’s topic. Don’t just tell them, ask why they think you chose that game. A crowd favorite of mine has always been a game I called “blind man.” It was super flexible because it could be easily adapted to almost half of my curriculum and the kids always asked to play it over and over. Their favorite was when it was Ms. Jessie’s turn to wear the blindfold and they got to tell me where to walk. If you’re interested in this activity, let me know in the comments and I will make a future post with more information about it.

SEND OFF

Now is when things can get a bit tricky if you don’t have procedures in place. For a long time, I struggled with being at the mercy of another group and never knowing when my group was going to end. Some sessions we would get through everything on time and I would just be throwing coloring sheets at the kids trying to keep them entertained until they were picked up. Other sessions we would be halfway through our first activity and giving directions with parents suddenly starting to filter in half an hour earlier than they were expected causing my entire group to dissolve into chaos. Any point I had been trying to get across was effectively shattered. There is a better way, but it takes a lot of persistence and communication of expectation. What worked for me was to have a waiting area set up for parents outside of my teaching zone with already printed and displayed information about what was going on with kids programming. This would usually consist of the weekly newsletter covered the night’s lesson plan, a calendar of upcoming events that month, and an extra handout or brochure detailing further information or a local resource to help continue practicing the skill learned that night. Some handouts might have self-esteem building positive affirmations for the family to practice, a list of age appropriate books about the nightly topic, or a calendar of easy and free/cheap acts of kindness for the parents to consider trying. I would also have instructions in this area that group was still taking place and would be finished momentarily. 

Is everyone going to pay attention to this? Not at first and some maybe not ever. But with consistency, I hope you will have mostly success with this method. As I’ve said before, the best we can do is put the tools in a person’s hands and hope they use them. It isn’t our fault if they don’t, but it can't be said that we didn’t try and give it our all.

I feel it is important to remind anyone reading this far into the post that our job, tasks, and responsibilities are just as important, if not debatably more important than anyone else’s. Anyone that works with children has worked far too long in a world where no matter what role they were in or age they worked with, they were seen by an alarming chunk of the population as babysitters.  This just is not so. Especially if you are working in an advocacy field, but even those working across the board in child related fields, your work is important. We are the architects of the future. It is our job to shape, inform, and prepare the minds of the upcoming generation to run this world when we are gone. The people that we are shaping will still be around as we grow old as our doctors, nurses, lawyers, bankers, drivers, cashiers, cooks, etc. The skills and knowledge we teach them will affect their ability to carry out those jobs for sure, but the wisdom and morality that we bestow on them will affect how well and compassionately they treat us while they do.

As always, I hope that this information helps you in your journey creating your own children’s programming. If you have any questions about any of the information in this post, what me to elaborate on anything specific, or would even like to share your own experiences, I would love to interact with you in the comments. As always…

Good Luck & Keep Fighting,

Jess ♥️