Support Group for Kids?!

Yes!

     This may seem like an insane concept. I say that because when I was first starting out, I had a hard time finding specific kid's support group resources. When I say kids, I mean of all ages. I am sure there are support groups out there for teens and maybe even tweens. In the groups I facilitated, I often times had pre-school and kindergarten age children in attendance. I mean actual KIDS. I am honestly still not even sure it is a widespread thing. Most people see children as ignorant and too young to be affected by anything going on around them. Not the case.

    Take a second to think about childhood. In the first two years of a person's life, they learn likely as much if not more than they learn in their entire grade school experience. Fine and gross motor skills, eating before and after teeth, sleeping habits, faces, voices, discovering parts of their body, physical communication, forming vocalized sounds and eventually recognizable words, core balance and strength, walking, cause and effect, I could go on and on... Moreover, most of these things are learned from observing and experiencing the world around them. They are literal sponges taking in everything they see, hear, and feel. Now consider children that experience violence and trauma during this period of their life. Children internalize their experiences and don't yet know how to deal with the thoughts and real, heavy, adult-level emotions they feel towards those experiences. I once attended a training where the person presenting told a story about a family of 5 who were the subject of a 911 domestic violence call. Without telling the entire story, the point they were getting across and that stood out to me the most was the fact that everyone brushed off the infant on scene assuming he was too young to be affected and therefore not in need of support. A few years later following the event he had developed violent tendencies and severely injured another child in his daycare class. It is possible that had this child received early intervention following that 911 response, the later behavior could have been prevented. In my experience kid's support groups work and are a great resource for children to process through their experiences and learn what life, family, and personal relationships are supposed to look like. They are obviously not something that should be used in place of formal child trauma therapy, but they can be a great addition to a child's recovery journey.

    Now, understand I say all of this coming from a childhood trauma perspective and it may take some brainstorming to adapt to other groups going through different life journeys. I could totally see the concepts and ideas I have used being adapted for foster and adoption programs, children's hospitals, juvenile services, behavioral programs, etc. I also want to mention, as I do in every post, that this is simply what has worked for the groups I have facilitated. I am not in any way, shape, or form a licensed therapist or counselor. I am just a nanny-turned-advocate that saw a need and tried to meet it as best as I was able. Please feel free to reach out to me if you have any insights, ideas, or additions you have to add to this or any other post on TheTraumaTeacher. I am always searching for like-minds as well as opposing views to consider and tailor my own knowledge. In advocacy, you should never ever stop learning.

I hope this post has inspired you to see the need and benefits of developing support group programming specifically for children. Keep checking back for more posts and details of how I organized, planned, and managed various groups of all different ages as well as lesson planning inspiration and resources. If you learn anything from my experiences or even just enjoy visiting TheTraumaTeacher and feel other people need to know and be aware of the information here, please share the link with friends or through social media. My number one goal for this blog is to further raise awareness about domestic violence, childhood trauma, and mental health support. If I can help even one person on their journey into child advocacy who is just trying to help kids heal, I have done my job. Until next time…

Good Luck & Keep Fighting,

Jess ♥️

So You Want To Be An Advocate....

 

   

    Becoming an advocate is not difficult. There are a million and one ways to get into the advocacy field with a million more truly worthy causes that need people advocating for them. It may not seem like it is a widespread profession, in fact this may be the second time you've been introduced to the term (I would assume the first introduction led you here).

    Advocates are not always called advocates. Some are called case workers, others are social workers or spokespeople. Depending on where and what field or cause you want to work for, your title may be different. The role, though, tends to stay the same across the board. Advocates, from my experience and observation, have three main responsibilities:

 1. Emotional Support    

     This is our main role, what we get into the business for, and what we are truly meant to be doing. No matter what cause you join forces with, you are more than likely fighting for people going through unfortunate and unthinkable circumstances. This means when you get into this fight, you meet and work with those people. Our job is to hold their hand and help them get through whatever their situation may be. You may develop a passion for childhood cancer and work with families at St. Jude or have lived a life where you were homeless at one point but got on your feet and want to help others do the same so you go be a case manager at the Salvation Army. Whatever passion it is that you develop and cause you decide to fight for, your number one job will be to hold the hand and be a support system for people facing that challenge. They will be your clientele and they are who need you the most. You will listen to them talk for hours, watch with quiet tears in your eyes as some take your advice and others don't, and you will celebrate with them when finally they achieve their goals needing you a little less than they did before. This is the hardest and most important job of an advocate.

    2. Encyclopedia of Resources    

     This is the part Of the job everyone forgets to tell you when you start and what you will literally work on every day of your career. It never ends. It is the reason your clients think you are a miracle worker, your family and friends think you are a workaholic, and the thing that will keep you up at night. Going hand in hand with your role as a support system for your clients, they will often (multiple times an hour day) come to you seeking direction and guidance. It is your job to know ALL THE THINGS. Don’t be afraid, you will never know ALL the things. But over time with diligent research and experience, you will learn more than the average Joe. I have told clients for years that your advocate is essentially your own personal walking, talking encyclopedia of community resources. Your child needs tutoring? I know the school guidance counselor, lemme make a call. You can’t find a job? I have a connection at “x” local restaurant, call and tell them Jess sent you. You’re moving in an hour and just realized you need a couch? Just so happens I was just scrolling through Facebook Marketplace and a friend had one for sale cheap, lemme text her to see if she is willing to donate! These are the kind of questions you’re going to get asked every 15 minutes day. It will be hard fielding these questions at first because you’re new and don’t know anything, but fret not, you’ll get there. Eventually, you will subconsciously take mental notes of resources you run across even when you’re not in the clock. You will slip business cards into your pocket with a client in mind, you will bookmark websites that you will totally forget about until you’re researching for a specific case and need it, and you absolutely will get into the habit of scrolling through craigslist or Facebook marketplace with a running list of links copy/pasted into Google Docs. I promise you’ll get there.

    3. social activist    

     Okay, this part of the job just comes with the non-profit And superhero territory. If you didn’t already deduce from the word “non-profit”, most organizations Worthington with people in need do so at little to no cost. When you aren’t charging for your services, the money to keep the lights on and support staff financially has to come from somewhere. This may not be as huge of an issue when you work for a nationally recognized Organization with donations coming in from across the globe (maybe? Enlighten me. If you do!) however I have only experienced working with small, local, grassroots organizations. When you’re small in name and usually staff, it is everyone’s job to raise awareness in the community about your agency and cause. This includes the networking I mentioned above as well as attending events, hosting festival booths, and organizing fundraising efforts. You will want to learn how your agency works inside and out, write and practice a script you can repeat over and over because you will be telling EVERYONE about what you do for a living. This is how we bring in funders, volunteers, clients, etc. You can’t make a difference in a world that has no idea that you exist.

     Speaking of networking, another great way to spread awareness as well as find resources is to join boards and councils relating to what you need. If you regularly work with the homeless or displaced, jump at the chance to join your county’s housing coalition meetings. If you are employed with a child advocacy agency, find out when the school board meetings are (they are usually open to the public) and go sit in to listen. Smaller councils and boards are typically invite only so you will just have to ask around as you grow your contacts, but when the opportunity comes up, take it. This is how you make connections, start collaborations, and education the community about your agency and clients’ needs.  All in all, just get used to talking about what you do. If you truly have a passion for it, it will come naturally.

    One more incredibly important aspect about advocacy, and I cannot stress this enough: Take care of yourself too. This was a lesson I had to learn the hard way and in talking to colleagues over the years, it seems to be that way for everyone. I tell worn out parents all of the time “take care of yourself because if something happens to you, who is going to be there for your child?” Just like you can’t pour a drink from an empty pitcher, you can’t care for others if you aren’t caring for yourself first. Set an alarm at night so you can get those 8 hours of sleep, carry that water bottle around with you everywhere you go, pick up your phone and make that therapist appointment, and just do things to make yourself happy and restored. This job is not easy. It is heavy, it is emotional, and it is tolling on your mental and emotional health. You will give everything short of the shirt on your back to help these clients get where they are going. Please, don't forget to take care of yourself.

    I hope that this will be at least a small glimpse into what life working in advocacy looks like. I have no doubt that all of these topics will come up again later in more detail. Don't let any of this sway you from your desire to get into this field. It is one of the most rewarding experiences a person can have. Even if you don't make it your forever, job, consider trying it for a short time. These causes and people need caring individuals to fight for them, speak for them, and hold their hand through the darkest points of their lives. Just be aware of what it entails and prepare yourself to fulfill the duty in the healthiest way possible. I hope this helps you even the tiniest bit on your own journey.

Good Luck & Keep Fighting,    

Jess♥️